Forgive & Forget
by brttmclv
Summary: In Crash & Burn Jack helped Emilie over come her fear of getting too close to people. She owes him everything. Can she stay strong and fight his fear when he runs off? Can she help Forgive & Forget or will he be the reason their love crashes and burns?
1. Prologue : Hush, Hush

**Okay...*deep breath* I am taking a major leap with this. First off, this was not the sequel I was originally going to post. This came to me the other night and I_ REALLY_ wanted to do this. I want each and every one of you to trust me with this stroy. It's a major leap but I swear it's all for a good read. Last story we helped Em with her demons and this time we're dealing with Jack's. But Jack's fear is being rushed to be confronted. The Prologue, as you will read, does not hide much. What you read is what the story will lead up to. The 1st chapter will start exactly one year BEFORE the Prologue. **

**Again, I want all of you to trust me on this. This is going to be a serious story. Well, not TOO serious but it's all about Jack and him coming to terms with what he needs to come to terms with before Emilie finally gives up on him.**

**That said...enjoy the story and please let me know what you think.**

* * *

Jack's eyes opened slowly. He stared at the ceiling as his vision cleared. When there was only one ceiling fan, he looked to his left. He smiled. Emilie was lying on her side, her hands clasped under her cheek as she slept. She had been through the wringer this week. Between the extra hours at the shelter and watching the kids for Jerry and Camille while they were on vacation, she was exhausted. He knew this not only because of how much she worked but because she did not even stir when the soft whimpering filled the bedroom. He placed a soft kiss on her nose before getting out of bed. He didn't bother putting on the pair of pajama bottoms that lay across the chair next to the door. Jerry had come to pick up Amelia and Danielle last night so he did not have to worry about running into either one of them in the middle of the night.

He opened and closed their bedroom door as quietly as he could and made his way down to the end of the hall. He let out a short yelp when his toe hit something hard. He looked down and frowned when he saw the toy car that was parked dangerously in the middle of the hallway. He picked up the bright pink Barbie car and set it inside the door of the room Amelia used this week. He would have to remind Emilie to drop it off on her way home from work tomorrow.

He stopped by the last door in the hall and poked his head into the room. The light green walls shined faintly in the moonlight that came in from the moon shaped window in the ceiling. He walked into the room and flicked the light switch on. Tiny lights from all over the room turned on and he smiled when he saw all the zoo animals on the walls. He remembered seeing Bobby and Angel in here working their behinds off trying to finish it like Emilie wanted only four months ago. He remembered laughing at angle when the giraffe wouldn't un-stick itself from his pants leg. Jack got quite the laugh from that day. Actually, that day was the first day that he laughed or smiled since earlier that year.

The memories of last year made him sigh and tear up. He was so hard on everyone. He pushed Emilie away when all she wanted to do was love him. He pushed his family away when all they wanted to do was help him. He almost walked away from the most precious thing that his life had ever given him.

Another soft whimper flowed through his ears. He smiled and walked further into the room until he could see the pair of big green eyes looking right back at him. He reached down and tickled the baby's belly with his index finger. The baby smiled a little before pouting its lips out.

"You're hungry," he whispered to himself. He looked over at the clock and then over to the dresser. "I don't think Mommy will get mad if I feed you half an hour early," he told the baby. He left the crib long enough to open up a can of formula and pour it into a bottle decorated with little palm trees and teddy bears. It matched the neutral colored room with its green cap and yellow ribbon around the bottom.

Jack set the bottle by the rocking chair in the corner and walked back over to the crib. He reached into the crib and picked the waiting baby up. He smiled when chubby little fingers probed around his face, pulling at his nose and scratching his cheeks.

"Did you even go to sleep?" he looked down at the baby. A small smile played on the baby's lips as Jack sat down in the rocking chair. "Or did you know that today was special for Daddy?" The baby saw the bottle in Jack's hand and waved its arms around.

"Oh, yeah. You are hungry." He held the bottle up to the baby's lips and the child greedily took it in.

"Did Uncle Bobby and Uncle Richie neglect to give you your afternoon snack? Daddy told Mommy to write them an hour-by-hour sheet so they would not forget. But does she listen to Daddy? No. She has way too much faith in your Uncles." Jack's voice trailed off as he fed the baby. Those big green eyes stared up at him. This is what Jack loved. When he held his child, he was number one. The baby looked at him in awe and in love. Little hands would reach out to him, just to touch him, and little smiles would greet him whenever he would walk into a room. The tiny laughs were just starting and Jack already adored those too.

He adored everything about the 3 month old in his arms.

He lifted the bottle from the baby's lips and chuckled. "I can't tell Mommy not to call you Piglet anymore. You deserve the name fair and square." He set the empty bottle back on the table and looked down at the baby again. Its eyes were still wide open and staring at Jack.

"You're not even sleepy are you?" he smiled and looked over at the clock again. "It's 2 o'clock in the morning and you are wide awake." Jack shook his head and traced a circle over the baby's tummy. "Want Daddy to sing to you?" he asked and pursed his lips in thought. "Let me think."

Jack did not hear the soft footsteps out in the hall as he started to sing.

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird. _

Emilie leaned against the wall on the outside of the nursery and smiled to herself. She would have never thought that they would be here tonight. After last year and its horrible mess, this was the last place she thought Jack would be.

_And if that mockingbird won't sing, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a diamond ring. _

Nevertheless, he was here, in the nursery cradling their baby to his chest as he sang. She could not help the tears that filled her eyes. She still had left over hormones and would cry at the drop of a dime. She thought Jack would pick on her for it but he never did. If the baby would smile or gurgle out giggle, he would hold her while she cried.

_And if that diamond ring turns to brass, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a looking glass. _

Emilie was proud of Jack. His whole family was. They saw the impact that the last year took on him. They saw it beat him down and they watched him climb back up. If the shooting did not force him to grow up and be strong, this year did. They watched a completely new Jack Mercer emerge and they loved every bit of him.

_And if that looking glass gets broke, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a billy goat. _

Jack smiled when the baby grabbed finger and brought it to its lips. The baby studied his father's finger for a second before taking it in his mouth and sucking on it. Jack could only shake his head and give up his finger as he tried to sing his baby to sleep.

_And if that billy goat won't pull, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a cart and bull. _

Emilie poked her head in a little and looked over at Jack. This was so not the boy she met when she was seventeen. He was a man now and he was the father of her baby. They had gone through thick and thin together. Now they were here. He walked her through the fiery crashes and stopped her from being burned. In return, she walked him through the miracle of forgiveness and helped him forget the painful memories so he could replace them with happier ones.

_And if that cart and bull turn over, _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a dog named Rover. _

Jack almost sighed when the baby's eyes finally started to flutter shut. He softened his voice and carefully lifted himself out of the rocking chair. He bounced the baby in his arms gently as he walked over to the crib. His finger slowly slipped out from between the baby's red lips.

_And if that dog named Rover won't bark. _

_Daddy's gonna buy you a horse and cart. _

Emilie watched Jack as he laid the baby down in the crib. He leaned over the rail and she smiled at the tattoo on his back. She did not like the idea of the angel wings on his shoulder blades at first. However, when he came back with hers and the baby's names in the middle last week, she could not be mad.

_And if that horse and cart fall down, _

_You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town._

Jack finished the song and bent down so he could kiss the baby's forehead. He set the stuffed teddy bear by the baby's hand and leaned his forearms against the railing. Even if he tried, he could not stop looking at his baby. Every time he did, he thought of Emilie and everything that they had been through. He thought of their future and he thought of more kids. He thought of the life he was going to give his family, the life he did not have.

He jumped a little when two soft hands traced the names on his back. "Go back to sleep." he turned his head and looked over his shoulder at Emilie.

She smiled at him and moved to stand beside him. "I will if you come back with me." She reached down and tucked a yellow and white blanket around the baby. Jack moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I didn't mean to wake you." he apologized and kissed her neck softly. She moved her head to the die, giving him more room to kiss, and brought a hand up to brush through his hair.

"I woke up to you singing our baby to sleep, Jack," she whispered to him. "Don't ever apologize for that." He smiled against her neck and kissed her one last time.

"I already fed him." he said and looked over at the clock. "Think we'll even get to sleep before we get woken up again." Emilie looked over at the clock that was reading 2:45am.

With a chuckle, she shook her head. "I doubt it. A diaper change is bound to come soon." she turned around in his arms and smiled up at him. He bent down and kissed her nose.

"Oh, I almost forgot." she breathed when his lips skimmed hers. Jack pulled back a little and watched her walk over to the baby's dresser. She pulled out a small black photo album and handed it to him. Emilie handed it to him and watched as a grin spread across his face. Jack stared at the pictures in the album.

"When did you get these taken?" he asked as he flipped through random pictures of Emilie, the baby and his family. She looked over his arm to look with him.

"Last week at the mall." she told him and looked up. "You like them?" she asked. Jack rolled his eyes and closed the album. He set it on the crib's rail and wrapped his arms around her again.

"I love them," he whispered as he kissed her hair. "And I love you." Emilie squeezed his neck and kissed his ear.

"I love you too, Jackie," she whispered. "Happy birthday."

* * *

**The prologue takes place in March 2009. The first chapter (and rest of the stroy) will start in Macrh 2008. Emilie is almost 23 in the story and almost 24 in the prologue. Jack is 27 in the story and 28 in the prologue.**


	2. Chapter 1 : We've Got It Made

**So, I was very happy that (1) everyone was surprised by the baby and that (2) everyone was okay with it. I as VERY afraid that no one would like that idea even though I stresed that it was for the sake of the story. i'm glad everyone does have faith in me with this. It won't be a sappy-lovey-we-have-a-baby-story. It's going to be rough. And Jack won't always be the good guy. Keep that in mind. **

**But here it is. It's kind of long but it hs a few song lyrics in it at the end...lol. I hope you like it. Oh, FYI this is EXACTLY on year before the Prologue!**

* * *

Emilie frowned as she looked at the west wall of her living room. Camille had her head tilted to one side and Sofi was tapping her foot impatiently on the ladder.

"It's not crooked." Sofi told them. Her voice every bit annoyed as she was. Emilie bit her lip and looked over at Camille, who was holding back a rude comment. Sofi had not been a good team sport today. She was putting things where she wanted to put them and not where Emilie wanted them to be. Camille was on the verge of snapping at her but was quiet for Emilie's sake.

Emilie sighed and hesitantly shook her head. "It's a little crooked. It needs to be brought up just a hair on the left." Sofi glared down at her and continued to tap her foot. After a moment of silence, Sofi huffed and turned around. Emilie and Camille shared victorious smirks as Sofi pulled the banner up a little on the left.

Today was Jack's 27th birthday. Emilie wanted to have the party at their apartment instead of the bar because it was a weekday and both of Camille's girls wanted to attend the birthday party. Therefore, Emilie made plans to have it at her house. It was the closest to Jerry and Camille's house. Jack did not know about the little get together though. He only thought that he was going to be performing at the club and then going home. Emilie knew he did not really want to celebrate because he thought he was getting old but she was not going to let his birthday just pass by.

"Better?" Sofi asked as she climbed down the ladder once again. Emilie smiled at her and walked over to break the ladder down and put it back in the hall closet.

"Thank you, Sofi. It looks great." Sofi beamed in pride and Camille rolled her eyes discreetly. "How's Angel's finger?" she asked, hoping to get Sofi in a better mood. If anything got Sofi in a good mood, it was talking about Angel.

Sofi faked a sniffle and picked at her nails. "He's hurting. It is not swollen anymore but I can tell he is in pain. He can't even tie his shoes right." she lifted her head suddenly and straightened her shoulders. "I help him every morning."

Emilie stifled a giggle with Camille. Angel and Bobby both started working for a construction company about 6 months ago. Bobby was great at it. He was a perfectionist about every detail that he worked on. For Bobby, working construction was like breathing air. It was that easy for him. Angel, on the other hand, was a clumsy mess. He came home with cuts, bruises and almost broken bones on a daily basis. Emilie did not have to live with Angel to know that he milked most of his accidents though. He hurt his finger over a week ago but Sofi was still tying his shoes for him.

"Well, I hope he gets better soon." Camille said in a very concerned voice. Sofi nodded her head sadly and reached in her pocket.

"Actually, I think I'll call him and make sure he's okay." she walked out the front door with a cell phone at her ear. Camille burst out laughing when the door shut and Emilie shook her head.

"She will never learn." Emilie stated. Camille nodded in agreement and poked through a box of decorations. "Don't worry we aren't using them all." she assured Camille when she pulled out a Christmas ornament.

"I think you and Jack need to repack all of this." Camille said with a chuckle. She sat down on the edge of the couch and stared at Emilie. "It's been a while since we've talked. How are things?" she asked. Emilie smiled as she nailed up a smaller Happy Birthday banner.

"Things are good. Jack loves working at the club. He gets to play a few nights a week and the rest of the week he gets to DJ." Jack started working at Bronze right after he and Emilie got back from their New Year's trip to Massachusetts. He did not want to sit at home all day and night while Emilie went to school so he talked to the people that owned the club. They were in need of someone who knew good music and how to mix the sounds together for the crowd to like. He took a few lessons on the DJ board and got the job a week later. The two years that he has been there marks this the longest job Jack had ever held.

"He seems happy with it. I know he likes that the band still gets to play together." Camille added.

"Oh, yes. I think he'd die without Troy and James." Emilie and Camille laughed together. "They're actually bar tending and bouncing there now. Troy takes the weekends as the bouncer while James does the bar tending. They alternate." Troy and James were Jack's band mates and best friends. Troy was also Emilie's best friend's, Paisley's, older brother.

"They are like two peas in a pod." Camille chuckled and setting out snacks on the kitchen table. "But how are you? Do you like it there at the shelter?" Camille was always worried that Emilie did not like her job. She did not have to worry though. Emilie loved her job at the shelter.

"I love it. I like working with the girls and children there." Emilie told her honestly. "Plus, I get to help the police out sometimes. Some old cronies of Det. Green let me come up there and try to help some parents whoa re looking for their kids. They let me do a little therapy session with them too."

It was last May that Emilie graduated with a minor degree in social work and therapy. She could have gone to a rehab facility or a protective services job after graduating but she didn't. Instead, she agreed to work for Jerry and Camille when they opened up a new homeless and run away shelter. She got to work with the younger people and woman when they came in. She would try to help them get jobs and a place to live while they were staying there. Camille and Jerry always worried that she was not happy but she was. She loved being able to help people that were in need. Emilie was the number one supporter when Jerry said that he wanted to open up a shelter in the first place. With the help of their lawyer, Jerry was able to buy the property and get government assistance for his new establishment. Most people who worked there were volunteers but Emilie was a paid employee along with a few others who had a degree from a college.

"That's good. The people there have nothing but good things to say about you." Camille smiled and tore open a bag of plastic cups. "I'm glad you like it there though. Jerry likes seeing you work with the younger girls. And, hey, this could be experience for the future."

"I kind of feel like Abigail." Emilie confessed softly. Abigail was the woman that took Emilie in when she was a young girl. Her adoptive parents died when she was in elementary school and Emilie went from foster home to foster home before Abigail got her. Unfortunately, Abigail died when Emilie was seventeen. After that, Emilie went to stay with Evelyn Mercer, who was Jack, Jerry, Angel and Bobby's adoptive mother. Evelyn and Abigail both worked with foster kids and knew each other from work. Evelyn died just over two years ago.

"Maybe that's why you love it so much." Camille said as she wrapped an arm around Emilie's shoulder. "I bet both her and Evelyn would be proud of you today. The boys too. Everyone has grown up so much."

Emilie chuckled a little bit and played with her nails. "Yeah, Evelyn would love to see her boys' now." she felt a single tear fall from her eyelash. Before she could wipe it away, Camille's hand came up and did it for her.

"You're not still having nightmares are you?" Camille asked gently. Emilie shook her head fervently and wiped her face again.

"Heavens no. I haven't had one of those since my trip to Massachusetts." she assured Camille with a smile. "Speaking of Massachusetts, my brother and Kris are coming down for my birthday. They will be here the second week of July."

"Good. It's been a while since we've seen them." Camille said and put her hands on her hips. "Does it look okay?" she asked. Emilie looked over at the table and nodded.

"Looks great. Bobby will love the assortment of chips and stuff." she grinned as Camille rolled her eyes. "Let's just hope he doesn't eat them all before everyone gets here." Sofi walked in at that moment, smiling.

"Bobby and Angel said that Jack was almost done setting up. They want to know when you're leaving." Emilie looked over at the clock and it flashed 4:10pm.

"Tell them I'm getting dressed now," she told Sofi, who nodded and walked back out the door. Emilie looked over at Camille. "We'll be back around 7 o'clock and we'll get the party started. You need anything else?"

Camille looked around and shook her head. "Nope. Jerry should be here in a few with the girls and he will go to the club with you. The girls and I will relax here until you all get back." Emilie looked like she wanted to say something but Camille stopped her. "Go have fun. The girls cannot go to the club so do not feel like I am begin left out. I'll get my chance to party tonight."

"Okay." Emilie ran over and kissed Camille on the cheek. "I'm going to get ready now. Thanks for helping me set up."

Emilie rushed back to the room she shared with Jack and sifted through her closet for the perfect outfit. Jack might not want to celebrate his birthday but Emilie was in a good mood. One way or another, Emilie was getting Jack happy about today. All it took was the perfect dress and some high heels.

* * *

Jack strummed the last note for the song and looked over at James. "Ya think we need more bass on the last part?" he asked. He had bee working all day on a new song for Emilie and even though Troy and James said it was fine, he was still adding and taking things away from it.

Troy walked up behind James and set his drumsticks down. "Dude, the song was fine two hours ago. If you keep fucking with it you're going to actually fuck it up and then you're going to be pissed," he said as a matter of fact. Jack dropped his head in his hands and sighed.

"I just want her to like it." James and Troy burst out laughing and Jack looked up to glare at them. "I'm serious," he stressed and they laughed harder and louder.

"Dude, its Emilie. She likes your crappy song. You haven't got to worry." James managed after his fit of laughter was over. Troy nodded and picked up a bottle of water from the stage floor.

"Yeah, dude you've got her support no matter what." Jack finally set his guitar down and leaned back against the wall. They were right. Emilie loved anything and everything that Jack played for her. He could tell which ones she liked better than the rest but she liked all of them. She even liked the raunchy songs that Troy wrote.

"Well, there's no more time to fix it anyways." Jack said as he reached for his pack of cigarettes. "Club opens in half an hour and we go on twenty minutes after that. So let's go set up the bar and when my brothers get here, we'll set up the stage."

The boys went their separate ways. Troy went over to the bar area to set up the beer and liquor for the night. They had to get extra because of the show so he had to go get the extra boxes to keep behind the bar. James walked around the floor putting out chairs for the few tables they had and turning on the rest of the lights. He also made sure they each table had salt and pepper shakers, napkins and cup mats. Jack had probably the easiest job when it came to setting up. All he had to do was hook up his turn tables to his computer, make sure he had the right music lists set up for the night and have the speakers hooked up. The hard part of his job was actually mixing the music itself, but after three years Jack knew what would sound good and what would not. He also spent a lot of time at home with his miniature turntables so he would be prepared for the nights.

Ten minutes before the club opened Bobby, Jerry and Angel walked through the doors with James behind them. "I just let them in. People are already outside so I'm going to go ahead and give out stamps and bracelets so I won't be that rushed when I open the doors," he yelled over to Jack. Jack looked up from his computer and nodded.

"Just don't let them in until six o'clock." Jack reminded him, knowing well enough that the people would try to persuade him to let them in early. James walked away holding up his left thumb. Jack looked down at his brothers and grinned. "Well, don't just stand there. Go to the stage and start setting things up." Bobby looked like he was about to say something but Angle pulled a hand over his mouth and tugged him away from the DJ stand. Jerry stayed behind and looked up at his younger brother.

"You better be glad it's your birthday, boy, or he would come up there and pummel your skinny white ass." Jack laughed along with him and descended the stand.

"Why you gotta bring the color and size of my ass into this?" Jack asked. Jerry rolled his eyes and started to walk away but Jack followed him. "If you can talk about my skinny white ass, I can talk about your over sized teeth, right?" A bark of laughter sounded from Angel and both Jack and Jerry looked over at him.

"Let's not get started on your ridiculously black ass and bright ass teeth, alright?" Jerry warned with a finger. "It'll suit you well to shut up." Jerry turned back to Jack and scowled at him. "Now why must you go and insult me on the day I can't insult you back?" he asked.

Bobby popped his head up from behind the drum set and frowned. "There's no rule saying you can't insult him, you're just a pussy about treating people right on their birthdays." Angel barked out another laugh and started hooking up the wires for the keyboard.

Jerry turned to Bobby and held up a hand. "It's called respect and no, I don't expect you to have any." He turned back to Jack. "Now why must you insult me when I can't insult you back?"

Jack pretended to think for a minute and snapped his fingers as if he found the right answer. "Oh, I know." he grinned. "It's because I know you're a pussy about being nice to people on their birthday's so that gives me the chance to talk all the shit I want to you without getting any back." This time Bobby barked out a laugh and doubled over at the waist for more show. Angel stood shaking his head at Bobby while Jerry turned a glare on Bobby.

"You've done this to him." he accused. Bobby started to shake his head in denial but stopped suddenly as if thinking it over and then nodded casually, taking full responsibility.

"It's not my fault though," he told Jerry with a smirk. "The fairy's very impressionable." Jack glared at him this time and stared toward the stage.

"Yo, Jack!" James yelled from the door. "Ya girl just pulled up." Jack stopped in mid stride and pointed a finger at Bobby.

"I'll get you for that." he threatened and walked away. His aggravation flew from his body when it set in that Emilie was here. Sure, he only saw her a few hours ago but every time he saw her was like the first time. He picked up his pace and walked passed James without a word. The people crowded outside hollered at him and he waved a little but did not stop. They were not his concern yet. Emilie was.

A huge grin broke out on his face when he saw her getting out of the car. Emilie wore a light blue strapless dress that stopped mid thigh and showed off the legs that he drooled over every day. He could tell the dress had a mesh outer layer and wondered if he could cut the bottom layer off and have her wear just the see through mesh part. The dress made him go gooey eyed. However, it was the shoes that made him think naughty things. He loved high heels on Emilie and these were his favorite pair that she owned. Jewels ran down the top of her foot and the shiny straps came from the stones to run across her foot.

As soon as she shut the door, he broke out into a sprint. Emilie barely had time to put her keys away when Jack captured her from behind and spun her in circles. A chorus of kissing sounds and awww's from the crowd made Emilie blush.

"Put me down, Jack," she whispered, failing to conceal her giggles. "People are watching." Jack set her gently on her feet but kept his arms around her. She wound a hand around his neck as he showered hers with kisses.

"I think they like our PDA, Diddle," he whispered in her ear before kissing it. Emilie rolled her eyes and turned around to face him. A put on a bright smile and clasped her hands behind his neck.

"That's because the girls like a visual of you kissing. Only when they dream of it at night, they remove me and put themselves in my place," she said. Jack looked over her shoulder at the group of on lookers.

"You wanna give them more to dream about?" As he asked her this, his hand reached behind her and grabbed her butt, squeezing it and making her squeal.

"Jack!" she scolded with a laugh. She wiggled her butt to get his hand off and smacked his chest. "You're such a pervert." Jack shrugged nonchalantly and held her hand as they walked through the parking lot to the club.

"I just wanted a little birthday love," he said as they walked inside. Emilie shook her head and waved over to James and Troy behind the bar. When she tried to walk over to them, Jack led her away. She stifled a giggle when he pushed her into one of the storerooms and closed the door. "So how about that birthday love? No one's here to witness the PDA now." he wiggled his eyebrows at her and she burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, no you didn't." she panted. Jack put on a scowl and crossed his arms.

"I try to hit on you and you laugh at me." he made a clucking sound with his tongue and pushed her against the wall. "That's not very nice, Diddle. It is my birthday. Aren't you supposed to be nice to me and give me whatever I want?" he asked. Emilie wiped the tears from her eyes and looked up at him.

"And what exactly is it that you want, Jackie boy?" she asked coyly. Her fingers danced down the front of his shirt ad stopped to tug at his belt buckle.

"Oh you know, a couple strippers willing to do my bidding, lots of beer and a million dollars." he dodged a slap from Emilie and laughed. "No. you really wanna know what I want?" he whispered and pulled her into his arms to cradle her to his chest.

"Yes." she whispered and snuggled into his shirt. She was happy he was getting serious. Sadly, she still had not gotten him anything for his birthday today.

He put a kiss on the top of her head and said. "Sex in a broom closet."

* * *

"Okay, for our last song, I want to share a new one." As Jack spoke, he wiped a hand over his forehead, trying to wipe the sweat off. "It's a song that I finished earlier today and it's a song for my beautiful girlfriend." He looked over to Emilie and winked. "It's called Got It Made."

_There's no time for a suitcase  
Just grab a quick  
Change of clothes.  
You ask where we're going now honey.  
Well, id tell ya but nobody knows.  
So sneak out the back door  
Cuz you know they'll try to make you stay.  
Make sure you gotta a seatbelt on  
Cuz were heading for the interstate._

We're having the best time living the fast life  
Thinking were just too damn young to die  
Ain't waiting for next time to see all the Bright lights,  
To see it all.  
We'll drive in the fast lane out on the freeway  
Tell us to slow down starts a car chase.  
As long as we've got each other we've  
Got it made.

Pulled over to the side of the road  
Going skinny dipping in the dark.  
Must've left the radio on  
We had to push the car to get it to start  
Cruising down on sunset.  
Then went racing up Mohulland drive.  
There we stopped at the world  
Oh, I never felt so alive

We're having the best time living the fast life  
Thinking were just too damn young to die  
Ain't waiting for next time to see all the Bright lights,  
To see it all.  
We'll drive in the fast lane out on the freeway  
Tell us to slow down starts a car chase.  
As long as we've got each other we've  
Got it made.

Now we're running on empty  
We've got no place to go  
We've been sleeping in the back seat  
Just waiting for the sun to show  
Low on cash, the tape deck's broke  
Thinking of heading home  
But I can tell by the smile on your face  
That we've still got miles to go.

We're having the best time living the fast life  
Thinking were just too damn young to die  
Ain't waiting for next time to see all the Bright lights,  
To see it all.  
We'll drive in the fast lane out on the freeway  
Tell us to slow down starts a car chase.  
As long as we've got each other we've  
Got it made.

We've got it made  
We've got it made

Emilie was in the middle of clapping and shouting for Jack when two strong hands gripped her hips and lifted her off her feet. She grabbed the hands holding her so she would not fall and saw that it was Angel. Jack grabbed her around the waist and lifted her onto the stage. He grabbed the microphone and grinned at her.

"So how about a birthday kiss?" he asked. The crowd cheered loudly and Emilie blushed again. Chants of 'Kiss him!' filled the room and before she could think twice, she pulled Jack down for a scorching birthday kiss.

They certainly did have it made.

* * *

As much as Jack didn't want the party, he had a good time. He loved being with Daniella and Amelia and tonight they were so excited because it was his birthday. After the kid safe birthday party though, the real party began. Camille and Jerry ushered both kids out of the apartment and took them home so they could go to bed for school the next day. That's when the fun began. The karaoke machine was brought out and the drinks started flowing.

"What are you singing, Diddle?" Angel called from the couch. Emilie and Paisley had set the machine in front of the sliding glass door. The floor was raised a little there so it was the perfect spot to sing.

Emilie and Paisley giggled together and started the music. Angel let out a loud groan when the 80's beat flowed through the living room. "Not Cyndi Lauper!" Angel ended up whining the while way through _Girl's Just Wanna Have Fun_. Jack and the band on the other hand were shocked at how good Emilie sounded.

"Wanna be in the band, Em?" Jack asked kissing the tip of nose. She giggled drunkenly and shook her head.

"No, because then I wouldn't be your groupie!" Any crude comment Jack was going to make was drowned out by the horrible howling sound that was coming out of Sofi's mouth as she tried to sing Shakira's _Whenever, Wherever_. Bobby buried his face in the couch the whole three minutes but Angel gave her a standing ovation.

"Hey, he knows how to get laid." Jack chuckled in Emilie's ear as Angel took Sofi's spot. They all wondered what he would sing and got their answer when the soft R&B sounds of J. Holiday came through the room. He started his rendition of _Bed_ by getting on his knees in front of Sofi and, literally, humping the floor.

_Girl, change into that Victoria Secret thing that I like  
Alright  
OK  
Tonight you're having me your way  
Perfume  
Spray it there  
Put our love in the air  
Now put me right next to you  
Finna raise temp' in the room  
First rub my back like you do  
Right there (uh huh) right there (uh)  
You touch me like you care  
Now stop  
_

Bobby jumped up from the couch and ripped Angel away from the molested floor. "Yes, now stop. Please. You're making my eyes bleed." That started an argument of course.

"Oh my God, Bobby!" Sofi screeched as she launched herself into Angel's arms. "Usted es tal idiota! You ruin everything." It didn't take long for the two of them to leave and let Bobby have piece. Unfortunately, they did not leave soon enough.

"Do we really have to let Bobby sing?" Angel asked annoyed. "He ruined both mine and Sofi's songs." Jack took a long sip of his beer and nodded his head.

"He gets his turn." Jack hugged Emilie close as they waited for Bobby to start. Bobby took his place at the front of the make shift stage. He cleared his throat and held the microphone to his lips. Before the music, even started Bobby tossed his hip out to his left and started singing.

_Upside, inside out she's livin la vida loca  
She'll push and pull you down, livin la vida loca  
Her lips are devil red and her skin's the color mocha  
She will wear you out livin la vida loca Come On!  
Livin la vida loca, Come on!  
She's livin la vida loca. _

Jack, Emilie, Paisley and the rest of the band didn't even hear the music start playing because they were laughing so hard. Bobby sang and danced along with the music while Sofi cursed and shook her fist at him.

"This is for you, Sofi!" Bobby yelled between lyrics.

_Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel  
She took my heart and she took my money  
_

"Sound familiar, Angel!" Bobby yelled again but the happy couple were already out the door. Bobby dropped the microphone before the song was done and sat down beside Emilie. She looked over at him with tears running down her face and he just grinned.

"That was so mean." she choked out. He opened up another beer and shrugged his shoulders.

"It made them leave, didn't it?"

* * *

After everyone else had left, Jack carried Emilie back to their bedroom. He laid her in the middle of their bed and crawled on top of her. She laid a tender hand on his cheek and smiled up at him.

"You never got your turn to sing," she whispered. He turned his head to kiss her palm before he started singing softly.

_When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart  
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore_

Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone

Jack never did get to finish the song. Before he could, Emilie pulled him down and proceeded to give him the best birthday gift he could ever ask for. Their loving making was slow and tender that night. It was the best either one could ask for.

However, neither of them would have ever thought that that amazing night would turn their lives forever upside down

* * *

**Okay...Lyrics...**

**Got It Made by Theory of a Deadman**

**Bed by J. Holiday. **

**Livin La Vida Loca by Ricky Martin**

**Crash & Burn by Savage Garden**

**************

**Em's dress and shoe links...Don't forget to take out the spaces!**

http : // www . bargainstyling . com / wp-content / uploads / 2007 / 05 / 15_meshdress . jpg

http : // z . about . com / d / accessories / 1 / 0 / I / C / - / - / j - renee - tstrap - sandals . jpg

********************

**Comments? Thoughts? Reviews?**


	3. Chapter 2 : Urges

**March 15th, 2006**

Emilie sat in her office at the back of the shelter. She was shocked when Jerry gave her, her own office but did not argue with him. She liked the idea if having her own office. She would need privacy when she talked to the teens and younger children.

"Emilie?"

Emilie looked up from her computer screen, where she was writing an e-mail to her brother, and smiled at Paisley. "Hey, Pais. What's up?"

"A new girl just came in." she said and pointed behind her. "Said a friend gave her your name." Emilie closed her laptop and grabbed a paper and pen. This was her routine when she talked to someone. She liked to take notes and keep them on file.

"Tell her to come in."

A girl that looked about sixteen years old walked through the door. Emilie's heart sank when she saw the bruised left eye. They often got abused runaways here and this girl fit the bill. Her clothes were dirty and torn from at least a few days away from home. It also meant that the night she left was unexpected so she did not have time to pack any extra clothes. Emilie made a note of that and the girl's hair and eye color, dark brown and green.

"Hello, I'm Emilie Ravin." Emilie pointed to the seat across from her with a smile. "You can have a seat if you'd like," she offered but the girl stood. Emilie made a quick note that she was not comfortable around women and jotted down a side note to see how she did with a male.

"I'm fine." the whispered. Emilie nodded and looked over the girl again.

"Would you like Paisley to get you something to eat and drink?" Emilie mentally frowned when the girl shook her head. Another note said that the girl was probably in denial of her situation and refused to take help from anyone because of it. "Alright. Well, would you like to tell me what you are here for?" she asked. The girl looked around the office instead of looking at Emilie. She shrugged her shoulders.

"Paisley, tells me that a friend gave you my name?" Emilie already knew that the girl did not want to talk about whatever she needed to talk about so she was going to try a different approach. Not talk about it all.

"Yes." the girl mumbled and looked down at her shoes.

Emilie nodded and set her pen down. She would take mental notes for now. "What's your friends' name? If she knew me, maybe I knew her."

"Lizzy Roberts." Emilie smiled at the name. Lizzy Roberts was a frequent visitor here. The oldest of six, Lizzy was only seventeen and had to take care of herself. Her mom worked a part time job at the grocery store and did not make more than minimum wage. They had assistance from the government for a while but were kicked off when they found out Lizzy's mom had a live in boyfriend. Lizzy came here often to get away from the stress of an adult life while she was still a teenager.

"Yes, I do know her. She's a funny one, isn't she?" she chuckled a little. The girl cracked a smile and nodded her head.

"Yeah, she's pretty funny." the girl agreed. Emilie waited a few seconds to see if she would speak again.

"She caused one heck of a ruckus here last week actually." Emilie recalled the event with a smile. "My friend, Paisley, works at night mostly and Lizzy wanted to pull a trick on her. Pais always comes in the back door and that night Lizzy waited for her. Apparently, Lizzy had gotten a hold of a robotic snake thing." she paused and looked at the girl. "She tell you about the snake thing?"

"Yeah, it was her cousins." the girl nodded, acting as if she was not interested. Emilie could tell she was listening though. Her hands were still and her head tilted to the side so she could hear while her head was bowed.

"Well, her cousin's snake nearly gave Pais a heart attack." Emilie laughed and sat forward in her seat. "Lizzy hide in the shadows and laid the snake out so Paisley would see it. When she walked in the door, Lizzy turned it on and made it move. Paisley, never seeing a snake in her life, freaked out and started screaming. When she took off running, Lizzy followed with the snake. She ran into the main hall right out there," she pointed out the office door to the eating area. "Screaming that there was a snake after her and jumped onto one of the dinner tables. No one knew, except me and my boss Jerry, that Lizzy was pranking her so all hell broke loose."

The girl looked up and smirked. "They all thought it was a real snake?" Emilie nodded her head grimly and did not make any reaction when the girl slowly walked over and sat down across from her. That was a little progress.

"Yep. Everyone was running around like chickens with their heads cut off." she shook her head lightly. "I can still hear Paisley screaming that snakes shouldn't be in the city. It was hilarious."

"That sounds like one of her pranks." Emilie watched the girl fidget with her fingers and decided that now was the time to press her for some information.

"You sure you're not hungry or thirsty?" Emilie asked again. "We have just about anything you could imagine. I'll even make it for you." Emilie wanted to hold her breath in anticipation as the girl thought it over. When she looked up at Emilie and nodded, she also smiled a little.

"I'd like some eggs, if you have any?"

Emilie led the girl from her office to the kitchen. It wasn't as big as a restaurant kitchen but it was bigger than your average home kitchen. It had two ovens, two dishwashers and one long stove top and grill. The sink was industrial sized even though they had the two dishwashers. The pantry was bigger than a walk in closet and the freezer was a smaller sized walk in. As Emilie walked to the refrigerator, she pulled out a chair for the girl to sit in.

"How do you like your eggs, umm," she paused at the door to the fridge and looked over her shoulder at the girl. "What's your name?" she asked, realizing that she still had not gotten her name yet.

"Oh, sorry. It's Kaylie," she said. "And I like them scrambled, please." Emilie grabbed the carton of eggs and walked over to the stainless steel counter.

"Pretty name, Kaylie." Emilie smiled and grabbed a bowl from the cabinet above her. "I like my eggs scrambled too. It's the only way I can eat them actually. Sunny side up looks gross." she shivered at the thought of cooking Jack's sunny side up eggs. Every time she cooked them, she gagged when it accidentally popped open and bled everywhere.

"Yeah, they taste funny like that." Kaylie agreed. She watched as Emilie broke four eggs into the bowl, added salt and pepper and started mixing them together. Emilie paused and bit her lip. "You forgot the milk." Emilie snapped her fingers and smiled at Kaylie.

"I knew I was forgetting something." she went back to the fridge and got the milk out. "So, you can tell me why you're here whenever you like. I'll be here until six tonight and when I leave I can give you my work cell number if you want to call me after hours." Kaylie looked over at her and bit her lip. "I know that you don't want to talk about it right now but I'll be here when you want to talk." Emilie looked up from her mixing and saw Kaylie nod once.

"Thanks, Miss. Ravin." Emilie smirked and shook her head.

"Call me, Emilie or Em."

When Emilie finished cooking the eggs, she divided them onto two small plates and passed one to Kaylie. She poured both of them a glass of orange juice and toasted two pieces of bread for Kaylie.

"Ta da." Emilie said with a bright smile. Kaylie smiled at her a started to eat her eggs. "I'm not a chef or anything but I know how to get by. Just look at Jack and his potbelly that he has now. He lies and tells everyone it's a beer belly but it's not." Emilie said waving her fork around. "It's my good cooking."

Kaylie giggled and asked. "Who's Jack?" Emilie took a big bite of eggs and rolled her eyes.

"My crazy boyfriend." she replied. "He's a DJ over at Bronze, He's plays there too." Kaylie frowned when Emilie coughed a little. "Sorry." Emilie mumbled and set her fork down. She took a sip of orange juice. She set it down and swallowed hard.

Kaylie stood up from her seat and started to walk around the counter. "Em, are you okay?"

Emilie didn't get a chance to answer. The funny feeling that she had after she took her first bite of eggs suddenly got worse. Emilie clamped a hand over her mouth and ran from the table. Kaylie bolted after Emilie as she ran into the kitchen's unisex bathroom. Emilie was on her knees and leaned over the toilet by the time Kaylie got to her side.

"It's okay." Kaylie whispered and gathered Emilie's hair into her hands to keep it out of her face. Kaylie freed a hand to rub Emilie's back as she retched. It was a few more minutes before Emilie finally lifted her head. Kaylie let go of her hair and stood up to wet a paper towel. She held it out to Emilie.

"Thanks." Emilie rasped out and took the cool towel gratefully. She wiped her face with it and breathed slowly. "I'm sorry about that." Kaylie took the towel from her and threw it away.

"It's fine." she assured Emilie. "Looks like the eggs didn't like you today though." Emilie chuckled a little and pulled herself off the floor.

"I know, right." Kaylie held her hand and they walked out into the kitchen. Emilie sat away from her and Kaylie's uneaten eggs and sighed.

"Do you need me to get anyone for you?" Kaylie asked, standing next to her. Emilie looked like she was about to fall out and Kaylie didn't want her to fall on the hard floor.

Emilie shook her head slowly. "You should finish eating. I'll just drink some water or something." Kaylie started to protest but someone walked through the kitchen doors causing her to look behind her. She saw a very tall man walk through the doors. He had dirty blond hair that was cut short and the brightest eyes she had ever seen on a man. His face was the chiseled perfection she normally saw on TV or in a magazine. The man was gorgeous. When he spoke, his voice was so deep that it sent shimmers across her body.

"Diddle?" Kaylie looked from the mystery man and Emilie.

Jack, the guy must be Jack, Kaylie thought.

"Hey, babe." Emilie rasped. Jack walked over to her and laid a hand on her head. She was not warm but she was a little sweaty. "I'm fine." Kaylie looked at Jack and pursed her lips.

"She threw up." Jack looked over at the girl and nodded a hello. Emilie must have been feeding her. "She took like two bites of her eggs and bolted for the restroom."

"But I'm fine." Emilie said again. She tried to put on a mean face for Kaylie but it didn't work. "I just feel a little blah now." Jack stood up straight and held his hands out.

"Well, let's get you back to the office. You can lay on the couch for a bit." He took Emilie's hand and helped her up. Kylie stayed beside her in case she fell.

"Kaylie, you really should eat." Emilie reminded her. Kaylie looked at the food and back to Emilie. Jack smiled at the girl's actions. She wanted to stay with Emilie but wanted to eat too.

"Take the food with you. You can come with us to her office." he told her and started to lead Emilie out the kitchen.

When they were back in Emilie's office, Jack sat Emilie down on the small sofa, while he took her chair behind the desk and rolled it over to sit next to her. Kaylie sat in the chair she sat in the first time and carefully finished her eggs and toast. She was about to bite into the toast when a though came to her.

"Em, do you maybe wanna try some toast?" she offered. "It might not make you sick and you'll get something to eat." Jack took the toast from her and smiled.

"Thanks." he said and handed it to Emilie. "Eat." He looked back at Kaylie and held out his hand. "I'm Jack, by the way. You are?" Kaylie wiped her hands off and shook his hand.

"Kaylie."

Emilie bite into the toast slowly and noted that Kaylie indeed comfortable with men. Emilie could only assume that Kaylie's problems were coming from her mother or some other woman with power over her.

"Em?" Emilie focused on Jack and frowned.

"What's wrong?" she asked. Her throat still hurt from her retching but she was feeling better.

"You zoned out there for a minute." his voice was filled with concern and it made her heart melt. "You sure you're okay? You wanna take off early and go home to rest?" he asked while running a hand through her slightly damp hair. Emilie looked up at him and frowned.

"I was talking to Kaylie before I got sick. I'm not finished," she told him, trying not to say something that might make Kaylie want to leave. Jack understood her words and looked over at Kaylie discreetly. She was watching them.

"It's okay, Emilie. You can go home." she set her plate down. "I was wondering if I could stay here tonight anyways?" Emilie smiled at her and started to sit up but Jack stopped her.

"Paisley can get her a bed and stuff." Jack said and looked at Kaylie. "You'll be here tomorrow, right?" he wanted to make sure. Kaylie nodded and he walked over to her. "I don't know how much you two talked but if you feel like you need to talk to Em," he wrote down her cell number and the house number on a sheet of paper. "Call her. Paisley will be here until ten tonight so you can ask her to use the phone. After that there will be a night shift that you can talk to."

Kaylie took the numbers and folded the paper. "Thanks." Jack nodded and walked back over to Emilie.

"Now, let's get you home, Diddle." Jack helped her to her feet and grinned. "I get to play nurse this time."

* * *

Emilie passed out before they even got home. Jack tried waking her up but she was fast asleep so he carried her up to their apartment and had their neighbor help him unlock the door. He laid her in bed and pulled the covers over her. She didn't feel like she had a fever but she looked pale. Jack lay with her for about an hour, just holding her and running his fingers through her hair but when the house phone rang, he had to get up.

It was Jerry. He wanted to know how Emilie was feeling and it she was okay. Jack told him that she was still sleeping but he would let everyone know how she was when she woke up and talked to him. They talked for a few minutes. Jack asked if Kaylie had stayed and Jerry said she had. He said that Lizzy had also come up there to keep her company. No one knew why Kaylie was up there but both guys figured Emilie would get it out of her eventually. Once they hung up, Jack cooked himself a small lunch. It was small because he could not fix much.

Another two hours passed and Jack was getting bored. He walked into the room to check on Emilie and she was still asleep. He sighed and walked over to the chair in the corner. He picked up his guitar and set it in his lap.

A melody had been bugging him for almost a week now but he had been too busy to sit down and work on it. Now it seemed he had the time. He tuned the guitar for the softer sounding melody and lightly plucked the strings. He looked up to see if Emilie stirred but she had not. He plucked the strings again and soon enough the melody filled the room. He played the short piece repeatedly until he started adding on to it.

"I'd walk right back through the rain. Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking and I'd relive all the years. And be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here." he sang under his breath. He looked up at Emilie as he started the melody over and sang the couple lines again. He didn't mean to write all of his songs for or about Emilie, they just happened to come out like that. The ones he worked on with James and Troy were not about her but the ones he wrote himself, they had Emilie's name all over them. She inspired him.

"It's amazing what I let my heart go through, to get me where it got me in this moment here with you." he sang another line when he thought about Lydia and all the drama they went through when they first met and got together. God, they had been through so much.

"Jackie?"

Jack looked up from his guitar and smiled when he met a pair of green eyes. He set his guitar down and climbed up the bed to lie next to her. She rolled over and laid her had on his chest.

"What was that?" she whispered into his chest. He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her. He did this earlier and loved it but it was much better when she was able to return the embrace.

"Just a song I'm working on." he told her.

"Can I hear some more?" she asked. He chuckled and shook his head. "Please."

"You know how I am." he reminded her. "I won't let you listen to a song until I've written it completely." She huffed at his side and buried her face in his arm. "Plus, I'm thinking about letting it be a surprise for you."

Emilie looked up shyly. "Really? A song for me?" she asked and he nodded. She moved up a few inches and kissed his lips gently. "I love you." Jack kissed her back lightly before pulling back.

"How are you feeling?" he asked. Emilie smile at his concern and laid her head down on his chest.

"I feel fine," she said. "Well, rested." she added and leaned back up to look at the clock. "God, did I really sleep for three hours?" she looked down at Jack as he nodded.

"I've been bored as hell." he chuckled and pulled her back down to him. "I wonder what made you sick earlier." Emilie shrugged her shoulders and snuggled into his side.

"No idea but I feel better now," she mumbled. He chuckled again and started playing with her hair. As he twirled strands of her hair around his fingers, he remembered Jerry's call.

"Oh, Kaylie did stay." Emilie looked up at him, careful not to make him pull her hair. "He called earlier and said that she had her bed and stuff for the night. Lizzy even came by to keep her company."

"Does anyone know why she is there yet?" she asked and frowned when Jack shook his head.

"What did you get from her today?" he asked and stopped playing with her hair. Emilie scooted up so that she was leaning on the headboard.

"Well, she's not comfortable with women at all. She would not sit down when I offered her as eat but she shook your hand like she had known you all her life. That tells me that the person that is causing whatever issues she has is a woman. It also tells me that there is a good male in her life but he might not be around a lot," she told him. "I offered her something to eat and drink when she first got here and she refused."

Jack smiled softly and asked. "And what does that tell you, Diddle?" She smiled at him sideways.

"It tells me that she's in denial over whatever is happening. Most likely, no one knows she is having problems and if they know that something is going on, they do not know exactly what is going down. She thinks she has it under control." she looked over at Jack and he frowned.

"I don't see how you do it. I couldn't meet them everyday," he confessed. "They remind me too much of myself. Broken kids." Emilie laid a hand on his arm and squeezed.

"You're not broken, Jack. Neither are they." she corrected him. Jack looked over at her seriously.

"Then what do you call it?" he asked. "Slightly not working? They are broken. I was broken, still am. I know you had problems with your childhood but it was nothing like mine." he squeezed her hand tightly. "Thank God."

"Fine, I'll call them broken." she relented and Jack raised a brow. "But being broken means you can be fixed. It is being destroyed that makes you beyond repair. I like helping them. I like talking to them. I can make a difference and I do. Everyday, I make a difference."

Jack kissed her forehead and tilted her head up to look at him. "I love you, too," he whispered before kissing her lips lightly. He went to pull away but Emilie held him in place. Jack chuckled and let her pull him over her body. He braced himself on his elbows as he hovered over her.

"Jack." she whispered huskily. Emilie did not know where the sudden urge to make love to him came from but she was not going to deny it. When Jack realized that she was not playing or teasing, he let his weight fall onto her and she moaned. He put an arm around her waist and held her close to him. His lips moved from her lips and down her throat, nipping every so often. He knew she liked it when he nibbled on her. Hell, he like nibbling on her.

Emilie buried her hands in his hair a moment before she shoved him away. Jack started to protest but hushed when Emilie whipped her shirt off. Before he could blink, she had her bra off too.

"In a hurry?" he teased. Emilie grinned at him wickedly. She pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him. Her knees set on either side of his waist and she went to work on his clothes.

"I might be hurrying now," she whispered. "But when I get these clothes off, I'm taking my time with you." Jack groaned at the thought and threw his head back into the bed.

* * *

_Oh, it's so hot, and I need some air.  
And boy, don't stop 'cause I'm halfway there  
It's not complicated, we're just syncopated  
We can read each other's minds.  
One love united  
Two bodies synchronizing  
Don't even need to touch me_

-Breath On Me by Britney Spears


	4. Chapter 3 : The Way You Look

**March 19th 2008**

Emilie felt drained today. She slept like baby last night but still woke up feeling as if she could sleep eight more hours. Jack asked if she was feeling okay and she said yes. It as the truth. She did feel fine. She just did not feel like there was an ounce of energy in her body. Still, as bad horrible as she felt, she had a job to do. Emilie dressed down for the day wearing a pair of blue jeans and a shirt that Amelia and Daniella made her for Christmas. It had the girl's hand prints painted on the front and back. Jerry and Camille told her that she did not have to wear it but Emilie loved it.

When she got to work, she spotted Kaylie sitting outside on the front bench. Kaylie had been a hard but to crack. Emilie had talked with her for four days and she never uttered a word about why she was coming to the shelter. Emilie wanted to know if there was a real problem going on or if Kaylie just needed a safe place to go sometimes. Emilie didn't mind talking to her but she was worried that if Kaylie did not confide in her soon, something bad might happen.

"Kaylie." Emilie greeted. Kaylie looked up from the jeans she was drawing on and smiled. "We do have paper," she teased. Kaylie rolled her eyes and put the cap back on the marker.

"I was bored. I was waiting on you actually." she looked over at Emilie shyly. "Do you think we could go somewhere today? Like, if you don't have any people to talk to." Kaylie was always worried about Emilie spending time with other people. Emilie had an inkling that Kaylie wanted to tell her what was going on but thought that other people's problems were more important. That just proved Emilie's assessment of Kaylie. She was in denial about what was going on.

"Sure." Emilie nodded. "What did you have in mind?" Kaylie bit her lip and let out a long breath.

"I don't know. I just wanted to walk around town. Get some fresh air." she cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips. "Do something for a change. Something good." Emilie smiled at her and held her hand out.

"Come on. Let me drop my things off and we will go. I know the perfect thing to do."

Ten minutes later Emilie and Kaylie were standing in front of the Red Cross. A big white sign read that it was a blood drive today. Kaylie looked over at Emilie and bit her lip.

"I've never had blood drawn before," she confessed. Emilie put an arm around the teens shoulder and smiled.

"It won't hurt. Just a little prick, wait a few seconds and we're done." she assured her.

"Am I even old enough?" Kaylie asked as they walked inside.

"You're seventeen, right?" Emilie asked.

"Yeah." Emilie smiled and patted her arm.

"Then you're old enough."

They walked to the front desk and the woman handed both of them a questionnaire to fill out. They took seats next to the door and Kaylie looked over the papers.

"Why do we have to fill this out?" she asked. Emilie started filling hers out as she spoke.

"To get a brief medical history and see if you're a good candidate," she answered. "They run your name and social to make sure you are who you said you are. Then they see if you have any kind of medical problems before they store your blood. They also check to make sure your blood is okay." Kaylie frowned and started writing her information down.

"What would make it not okay?"

Emilie chuckled and looked over at her. "STD's, drugs, too much alcohol." she told her. "They'll let just about anyone give blood but they won't use it unless it comes back clean. If there is something wrong with your blood, they call you or try to get in touch with you to let you know."

Kaylie looked down at her sheet and quirked an eyebrow. "And why do they want to know if I'm pregnant or not?" Emilie laughed again and tapped her pen on Kaylie's sheet.

"Because they just do. Now fill it out so we can hurry up and get this over with." she smiled shyly and flipped her sheets closed. "I'm not too big on needles myself."

A nurse came out a few minutes after they turned in there papers. They were led back at the same time but went to separate rooms to get the blood drawn. Emilie smiled at the nurse that was sitting in a plush blue chair.

"Have a seat here," the nurse pointed to the plain plastic chair. "Emilie, right?"

"Yes." Emilie rolled up her sleeve above her arm and laid it on the armrest.

"So no drugs?" the nurse asked. Emilie shook her head and the nurse smiled. "Good. No pregnancy?" Again, Emilie shook her head. "Okay, well, if anything is odd in your blood or we for some reason cannot use it, we'll give you a call in a week."

Emilie turned her head while the woman took two vials of blood from her arm. She hoped that Kaylie was okay and was not freaking out or anything. When she left the room, Kaylie was already waiting for her.

"Oh my God, I saw the blood squirting into the bottle thingy!" she squealed and pointed to her arm. "Dude, it was like really red and it didn't hurt at all." Emilie laughed and tugged her arm to leave the hallway.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed giving blood." she said as they left the building. "That was your good deed for the day. Proud of yourself?" Kaylie nodded her head quickly.

"Yes, I feel invigorated almost." Emilie took this as the moment to try to sneak into a conversation.

"Jeeze, if giving blood gets you this excited, I wonder would make you jump for joy?" she asked. Surprisingly, Kaylie answered her.

"Oh, I love hockey!" she grinned and Emilie saw her jump a little when she walked. "I know it's a guy things but I really like it. I started to play street hockey in middle school and I was really good at it. I learned to ice skate just so I could try ice hockey." Emilie smiled at her confession and she prodded more.

"Jack and his brothers play a lot too." she smiled. "What else do you like to do?" Kaylie paused for a moment and Emilie thought that she would stop talking.

"I like to read." Kaylie whispered. "I don't get to go to the library often but I like to read." Emilie noted that her voice changed. It went from happy to hard. She would ask about that another time though.

"I like reading too." Emilie announced. "Jack hates when I go to the book store. I come back with loads of books." Kaylie smiled faintly and started to pick at her hands. "What kind of books do you like? Maybe you might like some of mine. I'd let you borrow them." Emilie hoped she might strike a chord but it was not looking so good anymore.

Kaylie sighed deeply and stopped walking. "Look, Emilie, I really am happy that you're taking the time to hang out with me and keep me company but I don't want to you to think that by doing those things that I'm going to spill my life story to you." Emilie stopped next to her and grabbed the girl's shoulders. Emilie turned her so they were facing.

"I want to know your life history. I want to know why you keep seeking refuge at my shelter. I want to know why you feel the need to escape every other day. I will not try to deny that, Kaylie. But," she held up a finger and frowned. "Don't ever think that I am trying to bribe you or butter you up. I will not pressure you to tell me what I want to know unless it is an emergency. If you walk into my sight bleeding profusely or hurting in some major way, I will make you tell me or I will go ahead and call the cops." Kaylie looked stricken at the thought but Emilie did not stop. "One day, I will know what is going on and I pray that I only find out because you told me." Emilie leaned down to look Kaylie in the eye. "I am your friend and I will make sure you are safe. Understood?"

Kaylie nodded while she blinked back tears. "I'll tell you soon," she whispered. "Just not now. It is normal right now. Let me revel in that. Okay?" Emilie nodded and quickly pulled the teen into her arms. Kaylie hugged her back with a force that nearly reduced Emilie to tears.

* * *

Jack sat at the computer desk trying to write down the lyrics he had the thought of the other day. No such luck though. The lines he had sang while he watched Emilie sleep had completely left him. He tried playing the melody again but nothing came to him. Then he tried making up a new set but they didn't sound right. He knew the original lyrics were great but could not for the life of him and his family remember what they were. He was getting really pissed off and was on the verge of calling Emilie and telling her to come home to take a nap. Maybe watching her sleep again would jog his memory.

He was staring at the phone contemplating calling her when it rang. Jack picked it up with a chuckle. "Hello?" He was going to laugh aloud if it was Emilie.

"What's so funny?" The male voice asked. So, it was not Emilie but it was close.

"Hey, Richie." Jack greeted and pushed himself out of the computer chair. "I was actually thinking about calling your sister when the phone rang. I was going to freak if it was her."

Richie chuckled on the other end. "I'd be afraid if you two had some kind of physic connection."

"Why?" Jack asked playfully. "I think she'd like seeing into my head everyday."

"Yeah right." Richie said. "She'd kill you if she knew you thought about sex 24/7."

"She'd kill me if she knew I thought about lyrics and songs while we had sex." Richie laughed out a groan.

"Man, I do not want to hear about your sex life with my sister." Jack grinned and took a seat on the couch. "What I do want to hear is plans for her birthday."

"Um, we're not sure yet." Jack admitted. "Part of me wants to wait a little longer to plan everything but part of me wants to do it now. I mean, it's March and her birthday isn't until July."

"Yeah, I understand." Richie assured him. "But Kris and I are coming down for a week." Jack heard papers being shuffled then Richie spoke again. "It'll be from the 13th to the 19th." Jack went back to the computer desk and moved the keyboard off the desk calendar. He flipped to July and marked the dates with a tiny red mark.

"Alright. I got that written down." Jack said and sat back down in the computer chair. "I'll start trying to see what we're going to do and I'll give you a call back. She threw me a party so I kind of want to throw her one too. But I don't want to do it at the club because we had mine there."

"Dude, you know she won't care about that." Richie reminded him. Jack nodded his head though the other man could not see.

"I know but I wanna do it special." Jack heard a door click on the other end of the line.

"Well, she'll love whatever you do for her. Kris just got home though so tell little sister I love her and I'll talk to you later."

They guys said their goodbyes and Jack rubbed his hands over his face. Emilie would not be home for another two hours and he was off work tonight. With nothing else to do, he grabbed his guitar and tried to remember the lyrics to the song that has been bugging him. He played the melody slowly at first and thought hard. The melody got faster as he got more frustrated.

After nearly ten minutes of strumming, Jack sighed and set the guitar back down. He laid his head down on the desk and found himself looking at a picture of Emilie. It was taken in February when Camille threw a family get together one day. After two hours of playing with the girls, helping Camille cook and dealing with the arguing between Sofi and Bobby, Emilie went outside and lay down on the patio couch. Jack happened to have a camera with him and snapped a shot of her when he walked outside and sat down on the floor next to her. She whined about the picture for days, telling him to delete it but when he had developed it and shown it to her, she stopped.

It was a beautiful picture of her.

A line ran through his mind and Jack grinned as he picked his guitar back up. "I'd walk right back through the rain. Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking and I'd relive all the years. And be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here. It's amazing what I let my heart go through to get me where it got me, in this moment here with you." Jack let out a long breath and chuckled.

"There we go." he mumbled. He played the lyrics over again and kept with the flow. "God knows how many times I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd find. I know now, there's a million roads I had to take to get me in your arms that way. And I wouldn't change a thing." Jack had the sudden urge to repeat the first set of lyrics and he smiled when the song started to form even more.

"God knows how many times I was so caught up in holding what I never thought I'd find. I know now, there's a million roads I had to take to get me in your arms that way. And I wouldn't change a thing. I'd walk right back through the rain. Back to every broken heart on the day that it was breaking and I'd relive all the years. And be thankful for the tears I've cried with every stumbled step that led to you and got me here, right here. It's amazing what I let my heart go through to get me where it got me, in this moment here with you."

Jack's head fell back with a laugh. He set the guitar down again and opened up a new file. He sang the lyrics under his breath as he typed them up in a document. The next time he wanted to work on the song, he would have the lyrics written down.

When he was done with that, he left the song alone and headed into the kitchen. Emilie had not been feeling well as of late so he was going to treat her to dinner. He looked at the clock and saw that he had passed most of the two hours by playing. Emilie would be home in about 35 minutes.

Jack laid out the boneless chicken breast, which he had taken out this morning, and laid it in the sink. Next, he grabbed an onion, a red bell pepper and a green bell pepper. He carried the peppers and onion over to the cutting board and started chopping them up. He put them in a bowl and started cutting up the chicken into cubes. He let the chicken sit in the seasoning while the pan heated up. When it started to crackle, he poured the veggies and chicken. He placed the lid on the pan and grabbed a head of lettuce, three tomatoes and a bag of shredded cheese from the fridge. He laid them out in little bowls and went to stir the chicken and veggies.

By the time Emilie did walk in the door, Jack had the bowls set on the table, both of their plates made, candles lit and two glasses of wine set out. He grinned at her when her jaw dropped.

"What's this?" she asked as she set her purse down on the back of the couch. She walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his chest. He hugged her back and set his chin on her head.

"I wanted to seduce you," he said with a fake. "I need some sex and this is the nicest way I can ask." Emilie giggled into his shirt and reached her hand under his shirt to pinch him. "Kidding." he laughed and pulled her hands away from him. He titled her head up to look at him. "I know you've been feeling bad lately so I thought you'd like a nice meal made for you when you got home."

"And you cooked my favorite." she grinned up at him. "Chicken fajitas make everything better." she tiptoed and placed a kiss in his lips. "Thank you, Jackie. It looks great."

"Well, let's hope it tastes great." he smiled and led her to her chair. She giggled as he pulled her chair out. She sat down and he helped her scoot closer to the table.

"You sure you're not trying to seduce me?" she asked coyly. Jack just grinned and picked up his fork. "Oh, I see. You're being sweet but hoping for some loving in the end anyways, huh?"

"If you're asking if I have ulterior motives," Jack said with a mischievous smile. "Then you must have forgotten an important fact of life." Emilie cocked her head to the side and held her wine glass to her lips.

"Yeah? What's that?" she asked. She stared at Jack over the rim of her glass. He had that look. The look that said I am about to say something that is going to make you want to hit me. Slowly, she set her glass down and Jack winked.

"Oh, just the little fact that every man has ulterior motives." he took a bite of his fajita wrap while Emilie laughed. "We don't do nice without getting something in return." he tacked on between chews. Emilie scrunched up her nose.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." she scolded and picked up her wrap. "It's a mood killer." she winked as she took a bite.

Jack filled the dishwasher when they were done eating and joined Emilie in the living room. "So you got anything else planned for this romantic night that may or may not have ulterior motives?" she teased. Jack placed a hand over his heart and feigned pain.

"Oh, you hurt me." he panted. He pretended to fall over to the computer desk and Emilie watched him bring the music player up. Jack found the song eh wanted, hit play and turned the speakers up. Emilie teared up when she heard the sounds of Frank Sinatra fill the room. Jack took her hand and pulled her to him. "For me, Sinatra makes everything better," he whispered as they started to sway to the music.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you  
And the way you look tonight._

Jack bent down to press his lips to her ear. And then he sang. Emilie closed her eyes and relished the sound of his voice in her ear. She reveled in the breath that tickled her skin. She enjoyed just being with him and holding him. She felt Jack tug on her neck and she looked up at him.

_You're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight._

_With each word your tenderness grows,  
Tearing my fears apart  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
Touches my foolish heart.  
_

Jack watched the tears swim in her eyes. They did not fall but they made the blue shine. A small smile tugged at his lips when her tiny hands found their way to the buttons of his shirt. One by one, the buttons gave way to her fingers and Emilie pushed the shirt off his shoulders. She was glad he did not wear an under shirt tonight. She did not want any more layers between them.

_  
Yes you're lovely, never, ever change  
Keep that breathless charm.  
Won't you please arrange it?  
'Cause I love you  
Just the way you look tonight._

_With each word your tenderness grows,  
Tearing my fears apart  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
Touches my foolish heart._

Jack shivered as her fingers ghosted down his chest, stomach and to his pants. She ran a nail through the trial of hair that disappeared into his pants before sinking to her knees and unzipping his jeans. She tugged them off his legs and threw them over by the couch. His boxers joined them a second later. He helped her back to her feet and slowly peeled her clothes off. Shirt. Bra. Shorts. Thong. He even took her hair band out so he could run his hands through her hair freely. He ran his hands over every inch of skin he could touch...

"What's that?" he touched the tiny band aide that was on her inner arm. She swatted his hand away and pulled him over to the couch.

"I gave blood today." Was all she said before she fell back onto the couch with him.

* * *

Jack placed himself between her legs and kissed her. Emilie smiled when she felt her hands being drawn up above her head. She felt the tip of his erection probing between her legs and she moaned into his mouth. Her legs moved up and hitched around his hips, urging him on. Jack chuckled deep in his throat before pinning her wrists down firmly and sliding into her.

Bliss.

Emilie's mouth moved from his and she let out a long, soft sigh. Her lips parted just a little to let her pants and moans out. Her eyes fluttered shut and Jack was mesmerized. Granted, he was always mesmerized by her but she never ceased to amaze him. Of all the looks she had, of all the clothes she wore this was how he loved her the best. Naked with his skin on hers. Pleasure and contentment written all over her face.

His hips moved at a faster pace as he leaned down to her ear. "There is nothing for me but to love you and the way you look tonight."

Jack's voice singing in her ear mixed with the feeling of him inside her, making lover to her, was too much. With a long cry, she reached her climax and brought Jack along with her. He collapsed onto her, they bodies slick with sweat, heaving with deep breaths.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she panted into his ear. Jack rolled off her and pulled her into his arms. He lined their bodies up and kissed her forehead.

"I love you, too, Diddle. Love you so much."

* * *

Hours later, Jack and Emilie lay spent after another languid love making session. Emilie's head rested on Jack's stomach. Jack played with the strands of hair that fanned over his chest, smiling to himself. He thought about how lucky he was to have her and about the lengths he would go through to keep her. He did not have any plans that involved letting her go. He wanted to keep her forever. Grow old with her.

He let out a huff of air when Emilie pushed down on his stomach and jumped off the bed. He ran after her. Emilie made it to the bathroom in record time. She fell to her knees and almost choked her dinner as it came back with force. Jack grabbed her hair as she retched. He could see the tears fall down her face and he rubbed her back.

When she was done, Jack drew her into his arms and smoothed the sticky hair back from her face. She bawled into his bare chest. "I can't take it anymore," she cried. Jack furrowed his brows and turned her so he could wipe her face with a cool rag.

"How often have you been sick and for how long?" he asked, starting to get worried. Emilie did not do being sick well. All the times Jack had seen her sick, she had made him want to cry. No matter how bad it was, she always looked so pale and weak.

"At least once a day the past few days." she rasped. "And it's been going on for a little over a week." Jack frowned down at her and she bit her lip.

"You've been this sick and you haven't told me." he sighed deeply and helped her sit up. "Em, you gotta tell me these things. I will go to the drug store and get some Pepto Bismol and some Motrin. Maybe that will help you feel better." Before she could protest Jacks copped her up in his arms and carried her back to their bed.

"You're going to take care of me?" she whispered as she set her on the bed. He smiled at her and kissed her nose.

"Always."

* * *

_She's the voice I love to hear  
Someday when I'm ninety  
She's that wooden rocking chair  
I want rocking right beside me  
Everyday that passes  
I only love her more  
Yeah, she's the one  
That I'd lay down my own life for  
_

- She's Everything by Brad Paisley

_

* * *

_

**The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra**

**Reviews are more than welcome! :)**


	5. Chapter 4 : World's Apart

**April 7th, 2008**

Jack kissed her once more before he pulled the door open again. "I have to go." he chuckled. Emilie reluctantly let him go and crossed her arms.

"Fine." she huffed. "Leave but be back by one o'clock so we can have lunch." she smoother out hit partially crinkled shirt and he smiled at her.

"I'll be back by then." he left the room and Emilie shut the door behind him. She leaned against it when it closed sighing. She had the day off today but did not want to sit at the house all day by herself. She had plans with Jack but he told her that he had already made plans to go see Bobby that morning. Therefore, she was stuck at home until her lunch date with Jack.

"What to do?" she thought aloud. She scanned the room for something to do and smiled when she saw the bookcase. Emilie grabbed the cordless phone from the table by the door and dialed Paisley's cell phone number.

"Yeah?" Paisley answered. Emilie walked across the foyer and to the bookcase.

"Hey, is Kaylie there today?" she asked quickly. She heard Paisley laugh as she looked through the shelves of books.

"Well, hello to you too. I am fine. How about you?" she teased. Emilie snorted and started grabbing books of the shelves. "Yes, she's here. Why?"

"Bring her to my house." Emilie said as she set a few books on the table. She went back to the bookcase and grabbed a few more. "We're having a book day today."

"A book day?" Paisley repeated. Emilie grinned at the hint of whining in her friend's voice. Paisley hated to read.

"Yes. Kaylie likes books so bring her here. I'm going to let her borrow some and read some today." Emilie said. Paisley whined and Emilie grinned again.

"Alright. I'll be there soon." The girls hung up and Emilie grabbed a few more books of the shelves. She set the series' together and then set them up by author. She was not sure what kind of books Kaylie liked but Emilie knew she had many different books in the house.

Once she had all the books set out, she rushed to the kitchen and whipped up a tiny breakfast and some finger foods for the girls to snack on. She poured bad of trail mix into a big bowl and grabbed another bowl for the ranch chips. She dumped a can of dip in a smaller bowl and took the snacks out to the living room. She set them around the books and went back into the kitchen to get drinks ready.

By the time, the drinks were set out and Emilie was dressed in her day clothes, Paisley and Kaylie were walking inside. Emilie waved them into the living room and smiled.

"I remember you saying that you wanted to read more so I got a few books out for us to talk about," she pointed to the books as Pais and Kaylie sat down around the coffee table. "I wasn't sure what you liked to read so I got different kinds down." Paisley rolls her eyes at the stacks of books and reaches for the chips.

"You two can read all you want," she said. "I'll eat your snacks." Kaylie snickered and reached out to pick up a book. Emilie sat down on the floor and grabbed the one next to it.

"This is the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare," she told Kaylie. "Really good books. Not your typical romance at first but it's a great read. Have you read the Twilight saga?" she asked. Kaylie nodded excitedly. "Well, it's in the same league as Twilight but this series," she held up the second book, City of Ashes. "Has a lot more action. It doesn't just have vampires in it either. It was demons, werewolves, shadow hunters and all the good stuff like that."

"Who's the hottie on the front?" Paisley peered at the cover of the first book of the series, City of Bones, with a smirk on her face. The cover donned a shirtless blond man with black tattoo like marks on his body. Emilie sent her an annoyed glance.

"That's Jace Wayland." she said and looked back to Kaylie. "He's the guy of books. You'll love him." Paisley's brow furrowed while she nibbled on a chip. Then she snapped her fingers and pointed to Emilie.

"Is that the series where the guy falls for his si-" Emilie slapped her hand over Paisley's mouth before she could utter the biggest secret of the first book. Kaylie watched us with an amused look on her face.

"Shush." Emilie hissed and slowly moved her from Paisley's mouth. Paisley glared at her friend and shoved another chip in her mouth. "Anyways," Emilie said, turning back to Kaylie. "I'd suggest you read these three. Ms. Clare has another set of shadow hunter books coming out soon but these take place decades ago in London. It's called the Infernal Devices." Kaylie nodded and slide the books over to her side of the table

"I like the fantasy type books." she admitted. "Like fairies and vampires. I think it's cool." Emilie smiled brightly and picked out another book. Kaylie grabbed it from her and frowned.

"This is huge." she commented as she held the book in her hands. She flipped it over and read the cover. "The Historian?" Emilie nodded and tapped the cover with her finger.

"It's not a romance book like Twilight or the series I just showed you. It is a more mystery type thing really but it is really good. It's based on theories about Dracula. It is kind of like The Da Vinci Code in a way. But it is a must read book. Elizabeth Kostova did an amazing job." Kaylie nodded and set it down. Emilie grabbed another stack of books and smiled as she laid her hand down on top of them.

"This is the House of Night Series by PC and Kristin Cast. This is another vampire series but it is so different. It has ties to Goddess's and Native American history. It's really good and I highly suggest you read these." she pushed them to Kaylie and set her hands in her lap. "I think that's enough for now but I have a gazillion books for you to read. Funny books and sad books. All are really good though."

"Thanks for letting me borrow them." Kaylie smiled. "This will help me out when I start going to court." Paisley and Emilie glance at one another before leaving forward and starting at Kaylie.

"Court?" Emilie echoed. "Why are you going to court?" Kaylie rolled her eyes and leaned back against the recliner.

"I'm tired of home. I will be seventeen in six weeks and I want to get out. I've been going through the process of getting emancipated and I should be free of my family by my birthday." she reached for the trail mix and threw a handful in her mouth before continuing. "Only thing is, I have court next week and I have like two other cases before I go in." she looked over at Emilie and smiled. "I'll read while I wait."

"I didn't know that you were getting emancipated." Paisley said casually. Kaylie shrugged her shoulders and set the bowl back on the table.

"It's not a big deal. Plus, I thought it was going to be longer than this. I just found out yesterday when I was getting my days in court." she looked over at Emilie and smiled sheepishly. "Do you mind if I stay at the shelter for a little bit? My family might not like the idea of my being free so soon." Emilie nodded her head and placed a soothing hand on Kaylie's knee.

"Of course you can." she smiled. "Who do you stay with?" Kaylie tensed a little and Emilie knew she had gone too far. "Never mind. Tell me when you're ready." Kaylie nodded. Paisley was about to say something when the phone rang. She jumped up before Emilie could and ran to go get it.

"Hello?" she answered cheerfully. She looked over at Emilie a second later and held the phone out. "It's for you." Emilie frowned and got up to go grab it.

"Who is it?" she mouthed to Paisley, who shrugged and shoved the phone in her hand. "This is Emilie."

"Hello Miss. Ravin, this is the receptionist at County General. I am calling to make an appointment for you. Our nurses got your tests back from the blood you donated to the Red Cross. Sadly, your blood cannot be donated." Emilie frowned as the receptionist talked.

"Why not?" she asked.

"I'm not sure but if you'd come in, our nurses will talk with you about it." Emilie sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Umm, sure but today is my only day off." she heard the receptionist typing in the background.

"We can see you today at 11:45am. Is that okay?" Emilie looked at the clock and it read 11:12am. It took about half an hour to get to the clinic.

"I'll be cutting it close but yes, I'll be there." she hung up with the lady and set the phone down. Paisley laid a hand on her shoulder and rubbed it.

"What's going on?" she asked softly. Emilie took a deep breath and smiled.

"I had a doctor's appointment later today but they moved it." she looked over at Kaylie. "I have to be there a quarter to twelve so we're going to have to cut this short."

* * *

Jack parked across the street from the half-built house. He looked for Bobby or Angel in the group of men but could not. He got out of the car and crossed the street. When he stepped on the grass, he looked up and saw Bobby looking down at him from the roof of the house.

"Fairy!" Bobby yelled cheerfully. "Ready for our date?" The guys started laughing and, to Bobby's surprise, Jack smirked.

"You just insinuated that you're gay and incestuous." Jack called back. Bobby frowned as the guys roared with laughter again. "Thanks for taking the light off of me." Bobby shook his head and disappeared from sight while he made his way down from the roof. Jack waited from his by the driveway and waved to Angel, who was walking his way.

"Man," Angel panted, wiping the layer of sweat off his face. "Who knew March could be so hot?" Jack smirked and looked down at his light sweater and jeans.

"No one, because it's not hot. You've just been lazy for too long and any kind of labor wears you out." Jack jumped out of the way when Angel reached to pop him in the chest.

"Quit fighting like bitches." Bobby said as he came up. He took one look at Angel and chuckled. "Damn, need a bucket?" Angel groaned and walked away without another word to either of them. Bobby looked over at Jack and nodded. "You ready?" Jack held his hand out and let Bobby pass.

They were silent until Bobby pointed to the lake that was a few streets down. "That's the new man made lake," he told Jack with a sigh. "Why do we need man made lakes now?" Jack shook his head and looked over at Bobby.

"I don't know what to do for Em's birthday," he blurted out. Bobby looked over at him and frowned.

"Sure, we can cut the chit chat." he said dryly. "Why don't you have it at the club?" he suggested. Jack shook his head and sighed.

"I had my pre-party there. Plus, it's so unoriginal. We do everything at the club now." Bobby nodded his head in agreement and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well, do you know what you're getting her?" he asked. Jack tilted his head back and forth.

"I'm writing her a song but I'm not sure what I'll get her beyond that," he admitted. Bobby nodded and stopped walking. The oldest and youngest Mercer took a seat on a new bench and looked out over the lake in thought. Out the corner of his eye, Bobby spots a tiny family fishing in the lake. He didn't know fish lived in a man made lake but he put the in the back of his mind.

"How about a camping trip?" he said. Jack looked at him funny and Bobby motioned towards the family. "It'll be the camping season when her birthday gets here. We can get some tents, some fishing poles and we can camp out." Jack did not speak for a minute. He tried to think if he ever heard Emilie mention camping and he could not remember.

"You think she'd like that?" he asked seriously. Bobby nodded his head and Jack leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees. "I guess that could be fun. We could sit around the fire, sing, tell stories..." Jack trailed off and a moment later, he and Bobby both spoke at once.

"Smores!" They laughed together and Bobby slapped his knee. "I remember that tent Ma got us when we were younger. We camped out in the backyard and roasted smores all night. That was fun."

"Yeah, that was fun." Jack agreed. "We could make a weekend of it and go swimming too. The girls would like that." he sat up and smiled. "I remember seeing some camping stuff at Richie's house so I know he likes camping." Bobby looked over and nodded.

"Are him and Kris still going to come down?" he asked.

"Yeah, he just needs to know the days to take off." Jack told him. "I guess I can call him and tell him what's going on." Bobby stood up and stretched his arms over his head.

"So it's camping for her birthday?" he clarified. Jack stood next to him and nodded.

"Yep. But make sure to keep it quiet. I want it to be a surprise." Bobby nodded and the men started walking back to the job site.

"But where are we going to camp at?" Jack asked as they walked. Bobby took a deep breath.

"This lake is only for people who live here and the only other place that is safe so camp at is," he looked over at Jack. "Lake Trap." Jack frowned and paused in mid stride.

"That's where-"

"Yes, I know." Bobby cut him off. "It's where Em was drugged but you can't let her have bad memories there. We can help her make new and good memories. Plus, she wasn't that affected by it anyways. She was out half the time and she was assaulted or anything." Jack started walking again.

"I'll talk to Pais and see if she thinks Em would be okay with it." Bobby nodded and turned to walk back onto the job site.

"She won't mind, Jack." The first thing they heard when they stepped back on the lot was a loud thump followed by an even louder curse.

"FUCK!" Bobby and Jack knew that it was Angel and ran inside. Angel was on his knees, cradling his hand to his bare chest. His face was contorted in pain and the men around him were laughing.

"Why the fuck re you laughing?" Bobby yelled as he walked over to his brother. The guys hushed instantly and Jack threw dirty looks at all of them. "Ang, what happened?" Bobby asked while he helped his brother to his feet. Angel shook his head forcefully and Jack frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Angel told him through gritted teeth. Bobby narrowed his eyes on his brother and crossed his arms.

"Tell me what happened or I'll ask someone else." Angel groaned and held out his hand. Jack moved closer to see his hand and nearly burst out laughing. There in Angel's palm was a tiny little splinter. "I dropped the plywood and I got a splinter." Bobby turned away and looked at Jack. The moment their eyes met, they laughed aloud and the rest of the crew joined him.

"Man, I hate this job! My hands are sensitive! This hurts, man!" Angel whined and held his hand to his chest again.

* * *

It can't be, she thought mournfully. Emilie had been back from the clinic for only fifteen minutes. The appointment had taken longer than expected because of the very unexpected news she got. She almost had to call a cab to get her home. She was that nerve wracked with the news. She sat in the parking lot for twenty minutes and finally felt calm enough to drive. When she did get home, she did not even close the door all the way behind her. She walked inside almost zombie like, let her purse fall to the floor and sat on the back of the couch facing the door.

Jack would be home soon. Jack would push the door open and see her sitting here; looking like her best friend had died. He would get worried and rush over to her. He would hold her, kiss her and ask her if she was all right. She would cry and cling to him as if he was the air she breathed because she knew what would come out of her mouth after that would change everything. He would pull away from her, maybe even jerk away, and stare at her like she was a stranger. She could see it already.

Her eyes filled with tears for the fifth time that day and she gripped the paper in her hand. Jack and Emilie would be over soon, she knew it in her heart. She knew that Jack would not be able to handle this. He had told her before that this was not what he wanted.

"_That's a good way to scare a man off." Jack said. I looked up, saw him smirking at me, and nodded to the magazine in my hand. I sent him a playful glare and set it down._

"_It was that or baby magazines." I told him. He laughed and rubbed his chin._

"_Yeah, the baby one would have made me run faster." he told me._

"_What you got something against marriage and kids?" I asked, teasing. He looked at me and shook his head._

"_We're so not talking about this right now."_

She choked on a sob and remembered more of that day. Jack had gone to get the cast off his leg and then they went to get Christmas presents for Daniella and Amelia. His words had confused her but as the day went on, he made more comments about it and they just hurt her.

"_Let's get the girls first, in case we don't get to finish." Jack told me. I smirked and crossed my arms._

"_I thought you didn't like kids?" I asked, remembering his comment at the doctor's office. He held up a finger and shook it._

"_I didn't say that,__" he told me.__ "I said it was a way to scare me off and I also said I didn't want to talk about it." I could __not__ help but feel a tad hurt but I brushed it off. Kids were far from the present so there was __not__ any need to argue about it._

His words at the end of night were the ones that cut the deepest. They were the words that she had been hearing since she talked to the nurse. Emilie knew the words he spoke were honest even though they were hurtful. Tears streamed down her face and she could have sworn she heard him speaking them right in front of her.

"_I'm sorry about being such an ass today." I apologized as I took another bite of meatloaf. Emilie looked up at me surprised that I was talking about it._

"_It's alright. Some people just don't like kids." she told me softly. I leaned across the table and grabbed her hand._

"_It's not that I don't like kids, Em. I do, I love kids." I told her._

"_Then why brush me off like that?" she asked. I could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes. I did more than just brush it off; I hit a spot with her. A bad spot._

"_I just," I sighed and rubbed my face. "I don't know if I want to have kids of my own." I told her honestly. She stared at me and set her fork down._

"_Why?" she asked._

"_I don't know." I shrugged. _

"_I want kids,__" she told me quickly.__ "I want to get married and have kids with my husband. Family means a lot to me, Jack. And I know it means a lot to you too but that __is__ what I want. I want to give my children what my parents never got to give me,__" she confessed.__ I nodded and looked down at the table._

"_I don't know I if can give you that, Emilie." I whispered. I did __not__ have to look at her to know she was crying. I heard the shaky breath she took in and exhaled. _

"_I didn't ask you to give me that." she replied cooly. Her response shocked me and I finally looked up at her. She must have seen the shock in my eyes and her face fell. "Sorry."_

"_It's alright." I whispered. "Listen, Em, I love you. I love you with all my heart and I can__not__ see myself with anyone else in the world. __Nevertheless,__ there __is__ a lot I have to come to terms with before I think about marriage and especially kids. But I don't want this to ruin us; I don't want this to hurt us." I told her softly. She looked up at me and smiled._

"_It's not." she promised and walked over to sit on my lap. "I don't want to talk about it either. I don't want that right now. Right now, I want us to make up for the past year or so. I want us to become an us and have fun. We can think about the future when it comes, okay?" she smiled. I leaned up to kiss her but she pulled back. I gave her a confused look before she smiled and touched my nose with hers._

"_And I love you, too." she said before kissing me._

I don't know if can give you that, is what he said. The words hit her hard then and today, they killed her. They killed them. She wiped her face and looked down at the paper again.

How could something she wanted so bad ruin everything she has worked for. Emilie squeezed her eyes shut and pushed that thought away. She was not going to let herself think of this as a mistake. It was not planned but she was not going to turn her back on it. She could not.

"Diddle?" Her head popped up when she heard Jack's voice down the hall. She thought he must already see that the door was open. She looked at the paper again and bit her lip. She shoved it in her back pocket just as Jack walked into the apartment. His face was worry worn and she tried to force a smile onto her face.

"Hey." she said as cheerfully as she could. Jack did not buy her fake cheer and rushed over to her. His arms went around her and he kissed her head gently. The tears spilled over Emilie's cheeks again.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Jack asked worried. He held her face between his hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. Her lips quivered when she opened her mouth to speak.

"Jack, I love you," she cried. Jack felt himself tear up looking at her in this fresh state of heartbreak.

"Oh, Em, baby what's wrong? Tell me." Emilie cried harder and shook her head, trying to make the tears stop. "Emilie, calm down. Talk to me, babe." He held her head still and forced her to look at him.

"I have something to tell you," she said as more tears fell. "And it just might ruin everything."

* * *

_I'm gonna hold you for the last time.  
I'm gonna cry but afraid not to let it show.  
This is the hardest way to say goodbye,  
'Cause as you walk away I'm feeling so alone.  
_

_But now, I've let you go,  
I'm holding back the tears, I'm here, alone.  
Forgetting all the years.  
And now there's nothing I can do  
To bring you back to me, Ooh.  
So we live our different lives, it's so hard  
And there's no more you and I.  
And I'm missing you tonight,  
But we're worlds apart._

_-World's Apart by The Veronicas  
_


	6. Chapter 5 : Nobody Wins

**April 7th, 2008**

Emilie sat outside on the balcony and watched the cars drive by. There wasn't that much traffic but every few minutes the lights would catch her attention and she'd watch them drive by. There were six kids playing basketball out on the court. Half of the court was dark and the other was getting light from the lights on the side of the apartment building. Emilie tried to smile as they shouted happily back and forth about their winnings or fouls but she couldn't.

Emilie had nothing to smile for now, save for the tiny baby she was carrying now. However, she still couldn't be too happy about that. It was the reason for all of this, honestly. She didn't want to be like that but the thought of loosing Jack was too much for her. The only thing she could feel was the pain of possibly loosing him. Nothing else mattered right now.

A car honked when the basketball rolled into the road. The boys yelled out an apology and the driver sped off. Emilie wrapped her arms around herself and pulled her knees up in the chair. She laid her head on her knees and sighed sadly. She felt so small. She felt so torn. She felt loved and unloved.

She felt the memories of that afternoon creep back into her mind.

_Jack gave her an incredulous look. "Baby, nothing could ruin us." he told her in earnest. In his mind though, he knew only something really bad could tear them apart and he was scared to death of what she was about to tell him. He had never seen her so upset, save the time Evelyn and Abby died. She wasn't a crying person anymore and now she was drowning in tears._

"_I'm hoping that's true." she whispered. Her watery eyes turned up to meet his and she gave him a sad smile. "I'm pregnant, Jack." _

_Emilie wanted to cry all over again when all the color drained from Jack's face, She watched his green eyes hollow out and empty. His worried face turned to stone and, just like she thought he would, he pulled away from her. She swallowed another threatening sob and waited for him to say something._

_He didn't. Jack stayed quiet. He was...shocked. _

"_I donated blood a couple weeks ago with Kaylie." Emilie blurted out to fill the eerie silence. "The clinic called me today and asked me to come in. They told me when I got there that my tests were not right with the questionnaire I filled out and they wanted to check in with me to see why." she huffed a little and shook her head. "I had no idea what what they were talking about. She told me that my questionnaire said I was not pregnant but my blood tests," she paused and wiped a few tears away. "My blood had elevated hCG, a hormone that's produced in pregnancy. She asked if I knew and I said no." she stopped and looked over at Jack._

_He stood with his body half turned away from her. His hands were clasped behind his neck and his elbows sticking out to the sides. His head was down and his eyes were shut tightly. He didn't want to hear this, honestly._

"_She let me take another test to be sure and it came back positive." Emilie started again, softly this time. "She made me an appointment for the 16th." She waited for him to say something, anything but he stayed silent. "It'll be for my first ultrasound, give me a due date and tell me how far along I am." _

_That got a reaction from him. His hands fell from his neck and he turned away from her fully. Jack started pacing the floor as Emilie looked on. She wished he would talk but was afraid of what he would say._

"_Jackie." she whispered. He stopped walking and looked at her. Their eyes connected and at that moment the years flashed before them. _

_The night she first came to Jack's house. The night they talked for the first time. The times he took her to the pool hall. Their first fight about Lydia. Their first fight about them. The day Jack left. The day they kissed. Evelyn's death. Her funeral. Their kiss after he got back. Jack apologizing for hurting her. Emilie lashing out at him. The night they first made love together. The day he got shot. The trip to Boston. _

_Everything flashed before them and then it vanished._

_Jack shook his head once and turned away from her. Emilie watched him leave without saying anything. When he shut the door behind him, it was her cur to breakdown. She fell to her knees and let out the sobs that had been eating at her all after noon. She had wished that they wouldn't get to consume her but she just knew that they would. _

_She knew Jack was pulling away. She knew that he would soon leave her. She knew that everything would be over. So she cried. She cried for herself and the pain that would soon come to her. She cried for Jack and the memories that haunted him and held him back from living his life. _

_Most of all, she cried for their baby. The baby that was tearing Jack away from her. The baby that was causing all of this. The baby that Emilie Ravin wanted so desperately but was afraid to admit aloud._

_Body shaking sobs tore from her mouth and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. She would miss Jack if he left but she would not give up on what she wanted. She would not turn her back on this baby. _

Jack left the apartment at 1:24 pm. Emilie knew from looking at the clock right inside the sliding glass door that it was now 11:53 pm. Jack had walked out of the door nearly 10 hours ago. He didn't try to call and she didn't bother calling him. No one called to tell her that Jack was with them so Emilie assumed that Jack was by himself. If Jack was alone, he didn't want to be bothered. If he wanted to talk, he would talk. If he didn't talk, you'd have to wait it out or find out what was wrong with him by yourself. Everyone thought Jack was a had person to understand but he wasn't.

Emilie understood him.

The sound of her door closing made Emilie's head come up. She stretched her legs out and tried to push back the wave of tears that tried to resurface. She didn't want to rejoice and get happy because he was back. There was the chance that he might not stay.

She didn't have to turn around to know that he was standing behind her and the door. She could feel him there. She could even smell his cologne if she tilted her head just a little to the left.

"You should go inside." Jack told her. His voice carried no emotion at all. Emilie's head turned just enough to show Jack the profile of her face. He wanted nothing more than to go over to her and kissed the sadness away but he couldn't find it in himself to do so.

"Why?" Emilie asked softly. Jack shut his eyes at the empty sound in her voice. He knew what she wanted him to say. She wanted him to say that she needed to come inside because it was getting cold and she didn't need to get sick while she was carrying.

Again, he couldn't find it in himself to say so.

"It's raining soon." he said and walked back inside.

Emilie bit the inside of her cheek and tilted her head up to the sky, trying to keep the tears from falling. Her eyes burned and her head hurt from crying so much. She didn't want to cry anymore. She was tired of crying. Hell, she was just tired.

And hungry.

She sighed when she felt her stomach grumble and start to ache. At least now she knew why she was getting sick all the time. She also knew why she was drained of any energy her body might have. Emilie glanced down at her flat stomach and was tempted to put a hand to it. She felt so cut off form everything right now and she wanted some kind of connection. If she reached out to the baby, maybe it would reach back and she'd feel something.

"Whatever." she sighed and threw her head back. The baby probably didn't even look like a baby yet. She couldn't be that far along.

Emilie looked up when something wet hit her cheek. Luckily, it wasn't a tear. It was the rain. She was about to jump up and run inside when it started coming down faster but she sat there. She stretched her arms over her head and let her legs lengthen. The rain hit her from head to toe and it was soothing. It was coming down steady.

Drip. Drop. Drip. Drip.

The little water pellets lightly pounded her skin and clothes and Emilie started to smile. Then a crash sounded from inside the apartment.

This did not look like the type of guy who would be a good father, Jack thought as he looked at himself in the mirror. Well, it was his thought and a partial memory from long ago. Jack wasn't father material. He didn't know what a father was like so how could he try to be one himself?

Jack Mercer did not want a baby. He did not want a family. He did not want to take care of something other than Emilie and himself.

Emilie and him. That's all he wanted in life. Nothing more and nothing less. However, life was handing him something more. Something that he didn't want. Something he couldn't want.

"_You're nothing!" the drunken woman yelled. Jack pulled his bedsheets over his head to try and drown her and everything else out but it wasn't working. "I had everything before you came in this house, you little shit. I've fostered dozens of kids but Manny left when you got here." The blanket's were yanked out of Jack's hands and he stared up at his angry foster mom, Suzie._

_His foster dad, Manny, came in the day before and packed up all of his stuff. Jack heard the whole ordeal while he was eating dinner. Manny never said anything about the kids that were in the house. All he yelled about was how useless his wife was. Suzie was useless but Jack would never admit that. No one wanted back talk from a seven year old. _

"_He left because of you." Suzie screamed again. Jack saw the door fill up with the older boys that lived with them. They were smirking at him._

"_You should beat him, Suz. He made Manny leave." Tommy, the oldest boy yelled. "Manny loved us but Jack made him leave because he's such a looser." The boys laughed together and Suzie cackled along with them._

"_Hell, that's why his own daddy left him!" another boy shouted through the room. Jack felt tears build up behind his eyes but fought to keep them there. He didn't want to give them anything else to laugh at him about. _

"_Is it really?" Suzie smiled evilly. "Did your daddy and mommy leave you because you were a disgrace to them?" Jack shook his head fervently but Tommy barked out another laugh. _

"_He was such a looser that his mom died, Suz." Jack felt the tears again and Suzie glared down at him. _

"_Is that so?" she asked. Jack knew it was a rhetorical question but he still nodded his head. The only thing he knew of his mom and dad was that his mother died in childbirth and his father left him when he was only an infant. Apparently, Suzie didn't read up on her foster kids but Tommy did. _

"_Yeah, Suz. Jack's mom couldn't even stand to be on the same earth as him and his father probably blamed him for killing his girl." Tommy walked forward and Jack cringed back. This wasn't the first time Tommy and Jack were in this situation. Tommy had been in the same foster home and kids home as Jack for nearly four years. If Tommy was nicer, Jack would say that he was like a real brother but Tommy was just the opposite. He liked to torture Jack._

"_Oh, Jack. You are so much worse than I thought." Suzie cooed. The sound would be soothing to a child that she cared for but to Jack it sent shivers up his spine. "Well, how about this? Your reward for being such a pleasant boy will be a night with Tommy." she winked at Jack and Tommy stepped forward with an evil smile. While Jack stared wide eyed at Tommy, the rest of the group left the room._

"_Well, look like it's just you and me Jack." Tommy said and took a seat on the side of the bed. Jack moved away from him. Tommy chuckled and patted the bed next to him._

"_Aw come on, Jack. Don't be like that." he said. "I know we've had our problems. I might have been a little rude but I'm getting better." Jack shook his head and pulled his knees up to his chest._

"_I don't believe you." he said defiantly. Tommy sighed dramatically and scooted closer to Jack._

"_Well, you need to. I wanna be friends, Jack. Do you wanna be friends?" Tommy grabbed Jack's ankle and started to move his hand up Jack's leg. "I promise I'll be a good friend."_

Jack's fist drew back and flew forward a half second later, connecting with the mirror. Glass shattered into the sink and around his knuckles. He felt the blood drip down his wrist and he pulled it away from the mirror. Slowly, he flexed his fingers out and hissed when it stretched the cuts more. He faintly heard the thumping of Emilie's feet running through the house.

The door swung open and Emilie rushed in. She stopped when she saw the blood on his hand. Her eyes moved to the mirror and down to the sink where the glasses had piled up. Without looking at him or saying anything, she walked past him and grabbed the first aid kit form under the sink. She held her hand out, palm up, waiting for him to put his hand in hers.

He hesitated. His eyes roamed her body from her dyed brown hair and down. His gaze stopped on her stomach. The baby they made was in there. It's growing and soon her flat tummy would start to round. One day he would be able to heat the heartbeat and see it on a screen. Then he'd feel it move around and kick inside the woman that he loved. His child, his flesh and blood, would be thriving inside her and then she'd give birth. She'd be a mom and he'd be a...a father.

A father who had a past. A father who didn't know what in the hell he was going to do with a baby.

Emilie, on the other hand, she'd be a great mother. She'd love it and cuddle it like any good mother would do. She'd coo and kiss it when it was crying. She'd make funny faces and read it nursery rhymes. She'd be the best mother.

However, that was some eight or nine months away. For now, she was trying to carry the baby and keep it safe with her body.

"Jack?" she whispered, her hand still waiting. After all she had been through today, after all that he had put her through she was still here. She was standing in front of him, holding her hand out wanting to help him, wanting to take are of him.

Jack made up his mind right then. He let is hand drop to his side and gave her one last sad look.

"You can't fix me, Em."

Emilie stood in the bathroom long after Jack had left. She knew this time he wasn't coming back and for some odd reason, she was okay. She always thought she'd be hysterical if he ever walked out on her when she knew he wouldn't come back.

She was calm. She set the first aid kit back under the sink and picked up a stray piece of glass that fell to the floor. She gripped it in her fingers and stood up straight.

"Everyone can be fixed, Jack." she mumbled to herself. "I crashed and burned to an extent that I thought I would never be okay but you fixed me. You made me face my past and put me back together." she let the glass drop into the sink and looked down at all the shards. "I know you've got a past, Jack, but I will not let you let it ruin our future. You might not want to fight for happiness but I do."

Emilie left the bathroom and walked into the living room. Without any hesitation, she picked up the phone and called the one and only person that she would confide in right now.

"Bobby?"

_Hold your head up high  
You're never wrong  
Somewhere in the right you belong  
You would rather fight than walk away  
What a lonely way to breathe the air  
What an unlovely way to say you care  
Now we're too far gone for me to save  
And I never thought that we'd come to this_

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye  
(no one's wrong or right, you would rather fight, then you walk away)  
There's just no reason left to try  
(now it's gone too far, look at where we are)  
You push me away  
Another black day  
Let's count up the reasons to cry  
Look what you've missed, living like this  
Nobody wins (nobody wins)

_Searching for the truth in your eyes  
Found myself so lost don't recognize  
The person now that you, you claim to be  
Don't know when to stop, or where to start  
You're just so caught up in who you are  
Now you're far too high for me to see  
I'd never thought that we'd come to this_

-Nobody Wins by The Veronicas


	7. Chapter 6 : Three Weeks

**April 8th, 2008**

Bobby Mercer was not a good cook. When he was growing up, either he had people to cook for him or he did not eat at all. In his twisted little mind, cooking was a woman's job. Hence, the reason he called his youngest brother a fairy. Jack should be in the kitchen cooking, not Bobby. Jack should be scrambling eggs, frying bacon and toasting bread for Emilie at ten o'clock in the morning.

However, Jack was not there. Jack walked out. Bobby got a call from Emilie at one in the morning, asking him to come over because she needed to speak with him. Bobby, being the sucker that he is, rushed over to the other side of town in flannel pajamas to see if Emilie was all right. A whirl of crazy scenarios crossed his mind as he drove but not once did he play out a scene involving what she told him when he got to her last night.

_Emilie shut the door behind Bobby and turned to him. His scruffy face was full of worry and confusion as he looked around the apartment. She guessed he was looking for any signs of trouble._

"_What's going on?" he asked when he did __not__ find anything that looked odd or out of place. For the first time since he walked in the door, he looked at Emilie. Her eyes were red and puffy but she had a calm smile on her face. "Are you okay?" he walked up to her and held her shoulders. "Where's Jack?" he took another look around but did __not__ see Jack's shoes or jacket in the living room._

"_Let's go into the living room and sit." Emilie said and grabbed his hands from her shoulders. She le__d__ him to the living room and she sat down on the couch. Bobby stood and crossed his arms._

"_You call me at 1 am, Diddle. I think you're hurt or something bad has happened but here you are," he waved a hand at her face. "Looking all calm and not hurt. What is going on?" Emilie simply pointed to the seat next to her. _

"_Something horrible happened, Bobby,__" she told him as he moved to the couch.__ "But something good happened too. Sit down and I'll explain everything." _

"_Where's Jack, Emilie?" he asked seriously, as he sat next to her. Emilie turned to face him and curled a leg up under her. She took a deep breath and looked him dead in the eye._

_She started from the beginning. She told him about the book meeting that she held and about the clinic calling her for an appointment about a blood donation she gave. She told him that she was pregnant and she told him about telling Jack. She did not even leave out the gory details when she told him about Jack breaking the mirror and leaving for the second time that night. She was out of breath and starting to get tired when she was done telling her story but was not about to lay down. She did not even realize that she had been through that much stress in one day until she recounted it to him._

_If she thought she would feel better by talking to someone else about it, she was wrong. She was still an emotional mess but at least she knew what she wanted to do._

_Bobby was also feeling her wave upon wave of different emotions. "I don't even know what to feel or where to begin." he admitted after a minute or two of silence. Emilie laughed humorlessly and patted his cheek._

"_Welcome to my world, Bobby Mercer." she joked. "It's a crazy and hectic world." Bobby looked over at her and smiled a little. How she was so calm in this situation, he had no idea but he applauded her for it._

"_I'm pretty much speechless about everything you just told __Me__." he confessed. "I'm thrilled that you__'re__ pregnant, I mean," he chuckled and rubbed his hands over his face. "That's wow, Em. It's a shocker but it's great." Emilie smiled at him sadly._

"_Thanks." she said softly. Bobby took a deep breath before saying what he was going to say next._

"_As for Jack," he said gruffly. "I don't even know where to start. I do__n't even want to start because you are upset as it is.__ You found out your having a baby and you haven't had time to celebrate, have you?" he asked. Emilie shook her head and felt herself tearing up again. _

"_I'm not worried about celebrating though. I have time for that, Bobby,__" she told him honestly.__ "I'm worried about Jack. I know that you're probably pissed off beyond belief but I don't need you pissed off." Bobby looked at her __as if__ she was crazy and she smirked. "Yet."_

"_Why are you so calm?" Bobby asked. Emilie sighed and leaned back into the couch._

"_I don't want to be made at him, Bobby. I know what he did wasn't right but I also know that he didn't really want to do it,__" she told him.__ Bobby shook his head and held up his hand to stop her._

"_If he didn't want to walk out on you, he wouldn't have." he corrected her. Emilie shook her head and bit her lip._

"_I know him, Bobby. Something is wrong. Something isn't right." Bobby huffed and nodded his head this time. Emilie could tell her was getting frustrated with her._

"_Damn right something is wrong,__" he agreed.__ "Jack just walked out on you after you told him you were having his baby." Bobby could feel his blood start to boil. He knew he should __not__ have said anything. Now he was going to go off ranting about how much of an asshole Jack was. "How could he do that to you? He loves you. __I know that.__However,__ the moment you tell him you __are__ having his child; he books it out of here. You're starting a fam-" he stopped immediately and bowed his head. _

"_A family." Emilie finished for him softly. She knew that Bobby was starting to see what she was seeing. Bobby rubbed his chin and looked out the glass doors._

"_He's going to be a father." Bobby mumbled to himself. _

"_Do you see what I'm seeing now?" Emilie scooted closer to him and gripped his arm with her hands. "Jack never had a real family until Evelyn got him. Even then, he was already scarred. He never had a father figure. He had brothers but you all were doing your own things by the time he came around." Emilie shook his arm and Bobby looked over at her. "He's scared, Bobby. I know he is."_

"_Parenthood is scary for everyone, Em. Jack might not know what to do with a family or a baby but it does not give him the right to walk out on you in the middle of the night." Bobby's words brought tears to her eyes. She had never heard Bobby sound so passionate in his life._

"_I know that, Bobby. Don't think for one second that I'm not dying inside right now." she looked up at him and nearly brought him to tears. "But I can feel it, Bobby. I can feel it in here," she held her hand over her heart. "I know that he's sacred. He just needs help. I can help him with whatever it is he needs help with. I owe him, Bobby."_

"_What are you thinking of doing?" he asked curiously. Emilie smiled a little and let his arm go._

"_I know some people at Child Services. I'm sure I can get Jack's files from them or from the lawyer,__" she confessed.__ "I want to know what happened to Jack. I know he had it rough but I want to know. I want to talk to people and find out what happened when he was a child." Bobby sighed deeply and sat back against the couch._

"_It won't be pretty, Em. __Jack might not want you to snoop in his past."__ Bobby knew how touchy his brother was about his past. __None of the Mercer men was proud of their pasts. It was not hugs and kisses for them when they were growing up.__ It was dark and tough. Bobby would __not__ want Emilie hearing those things and he knew Jack wouldn't either._

"_I know." Emilie nodded. "That's why I'm going to make him go with me." Bobby barked out a laugh so sudden and loud that it made Emilie jump. When his fit __calmed, he apologized for laughing at her and scaring her._

"_You really think Jack would, not only, let you go through his past but let him tag along for the ride?" he asked disbelievingly. Emilie did __not__ say anything. Instead, she stared at him with such a serious expression that told Bobby she was dead serious about this. "Em, really?"_

"_Yes, really." she nodded. "I'm not letting Jack go without a fight, Bobby. And when all is said and done, if he still doesn't want to be with me or the baby, he can go but not until he faces his past and gets over whatever he needs to get over."_

Bobby still could not believe how well Emilie was taking all of this. He was still expecting her to burst into tears and fall to knees while begging him to bring Jack back to her but it did not look like that was going to happen. Emilie was hurting but she was not going to let it consume her. She was going to try to fix it before giving up.

When breakfast was done, Bobby filled bacon, eggs and toast on two plates before set them on the table. He was grabbed the orange juice when he heard the quick padding of footsteps down the hall. He looked out of the kitchen in time to see Emilie running to the bathroom. He shook his head with a smile walked down the hall.

"Diddle?" he said knocking on the bathroom door. He heard a muffled voice and smirked when he heard a toilet flush after it. The door creaked open and he peeked in to see Emilie leaning over the sink wetting her toothbrush.

"At least I know why I'm sick now." she tried to joke. Bobby chuckled and walked over to rub her back as she brushed her teeth. "Dom ah mell bahon?" Bobby laughed and plucked the toothbrush out of her mouth. Emilie giggled while she spit and looked back up at him. "I said, do I smell bacon?"

"Yes," Bobby smiled and handed her the toothbrush. "I cooked you breakfast so brush up and come out here." Bobby walked off and Emilie finished brushing her teeth. She had thrown up three times during the night and early morning. She was wishing her first appointment with her doctor were sooner so she could get some medicine but she would have to wait it out a little longer.

Done with brushing her teeth, she walked into the kitchen and looked down at the table. Bobby had cooked her eggs, bacon and toast. He even buttered it for her.

"Thanks, Bobby." she smiled and pulled her seat out. "That's real sweet of you." Bobby shrugged his shoulders and swallowed hit mouthful of eggs.

"You're eating for two now," he said with a smile. "It's my good deed for the day." Emilie laughed and started poking at her eggs.

"You get brownie points for feeding a pregnant girl." Both of them stopped eating and looked at each across the table. Bobby saw her eyes glisten and dropped his fork on his plate. He rushed over to her just as the tears and sobs escaped her. "Oh my God, Bobby. I'm having a baby." Bobby cradled her in his arms as she cried.

"Yes, Diddle, you are. You're going to be a mommy," he said as soothingly as he could. "You're going to be a great mom, too." he pulled back and looked at her tear streaked but smiling face. "I want you to know that I will be here until you have this baby and afterwards. If you need me, you call me. Okay?" Emilie nodded and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

"Thanks, Bobby." The phone rang and Bobby moved away to answer it. Emilie sat at the table and ate her food slowly. Bobby came back in a few seconds later with a hard look on his face.

"It's for you." he handed her the phone and sat back down to finish his food. Emilie held the phone up to her ear and hoped for dear life that is was Jack.

"Hello?" she said hesitantly.

"Hey, Em. It's James." Emilie frowned a little but perked up when she realized that Jack might have gone to his band.

"Hey, James. How are you?" she asked and picked up a piece of bacon.

"Good." he sighed and Emilie set her bacon down. "Listen," he said in a soft voice. "I don't know what's going on with you and Jack but I highly doubted you knew what was going on with us." Emilie frowned and pushed herself out of the chair.

"What do you mean?" she demanded.

"Well, Jack came in late last night and said that we were going on the road. He said that you two had talked about it and thought it would be a nice change to road trip for a little bit." James' voice got lower and lower as he spoke to her. "Hold on," he whispered. Emilie felt her heart speed up a little. Jack lied to them. Jack lied about her. Jack was going away. How long was a little bit?

"James?" she asked softly. She heard a muffled sound and then he was back.

"Sorry, Jack doesn't know I'm calling you." he admitted. "I knew something was wrong by the way he was acting. He hasn't acted like this since the time we left for LA." Emilie rubbed her temple with one hand and sighed.

"James, how long are you guys going to be gone?" she asked. She heard him curse under his breath.

"So he lied? You didn't know," he cursed again. "We're leaving in an hour. We have everything packed up already. He has been non-stop packing and getting ready. We'll be gone for three weeks." his words hit her like a ton of bricks. She knew he would run away from her but she never thought that he would far away from her.

"Three weeks." she repeated softly. Bobby laid a hand on her shoulder and looked at her with a questioning face. She held up a finger and focused on James again. "James, if Jack didn't tell you what was going on, then I won't go behind his back and tell you. I hope you understand that. However, I do want you to call me and tell me where you guys are, okay? Jack and I," she sniffled and blinked back tears. "We're not okay, James. If he is going away, I will not stop him but I do want to know where he is and know that he is okay. Can you do that for me without him knowing?"

"Yeah, Em, I can." James sounds sad almost. "Is there anything else I can do?" he asked. Emilie smiled a little and laughed a shaky watery laugh.

"No, James. Just keep me informed." Emilie pressed the end button and set the phone on the counter. She started chewing on her thumbnail and turned to Bobby, tears already starting to fall.

"I didn't think he literally run away from me, Bobby." The dam broke and Bobby pulled her into his arms while she cried. He knew that this was all hitting her most clearly now and he wondered if it would deter her plans to help Jack. Bobby hoped it wouldn't because, as much as he didn't want to go through the trouble, Jack needed to face his demons and Emilie was the one who could help him do it.

"Don't worry about that, Em. You focus on fixing him like I you said." he pulled away from her and kissed her forehead. "Think about the future. You, Jack and," he laid his hand on her stomach. "Your baby. It's the only future possible. You two belong together. Fate just wants to see how far you would go to keep it that way."

* * *

Jack waited outside the bathroom door, his guitar case in one hand and a cigarette in the other. It had been over ten hours since he walked out on Emilie. He walked around town until three in the morning before finally going to James apartment. He would go to Troy's but he did not want to risk Paisley seeing him over there. Jack made James call Troy up that morning and meet them at the studio. Then, he told them the plan. They were leaving in a few hours and they needed to hurry and pack. James and Troy were iffy on the trip though. Who randomly took a three week trip without any kind of planning? James was the brave one to ask Jack what was going on. Jack knew he had to tell them or they would not go with him.

"_Emilie and I are uh," Jack ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Taking a break. Some things have happened the past couple days and we need our space." he stopped and shook his head. "No, I need space. She's just...she's just getting some space." James looked like Jack has spoken a foreign language._

"_What happened?" he asked._

"_I'd rather not say." Troy and James both heard the agony in his voice and did __not__ press him for more info about the reason behind the sudden break. "Let's just get everything together and get ready to leave." Jack waved them away but called them back. "Don't tell anyone until we get ready to leave. Okay?" Troy let out a shaky breath before nodding is head and walking off. He didn't have a good feeling about this and neither did James._

"_Jack," James hesitantly approached him and ran a hand through his hair. "Does Em know you're leaving?" Jack stared at him for a moment. James knew Jack better than he though__t.__ Jack knew he should tell him the truth and say that Emilie did not know that they were leaving. He also should tell James that she was pregnant and that he walked out on her. However, the truth was killing Jack and he did __not__ want to admit it._

"_Yeah, we talked about it." Jack lied. James gave him a knowing look and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Just go get ready."_

The bathroom door opened and James walked out. When he saw Jack standing there, he froze. Jack threw the cigarette down as James did an impression of a fish, opening and closing his mouth.

"How did she sound?" Jack asked after another silent moment. James made a choking sound and shook his head.

"I have, um no idea-" Jack cut him off with a pleading look.

"I know you called her." Jack said. "I knew you would. How did she sound?" James sighed deeply and scratched his chin.

"Well, Bobby was with her and he didn't sound too happy when he answered. He though I was you at first and cursed me out." Jack winced and looked away. He knew the only time Emilie would call Bobby was if she was really upset or if she was really worried about him. Jack wanted to smile at the thought of her still worrying about him even after he walked out on her but he did not.

"I asked her if she knew we were leaving," James continued softly. "She didn't know what I was talking about, of course."

"Did you tell her how long we were going to be gone?" Jack asked. James nodded sadly. "What did she say?" Jack saw a dark look cross James' face and got worried. Did she react that badly?

"You know what? I told her that you said that she knew we were leaving. I told her that we were leaving in an hour and we to be gone for three weeks and you know what she said, Jack?" he paused and Jack shook his head numbly. "She told me that something was wrong between you two. She did not tell me what though because she said if you did not confide in me, she would not go behind your back. Then she told to me keep an eye out for you and to call her when ever we get to a new place." Jack felt hot tears sting his eyes and he looked away from his raging friend.

"You were going to leave without telling her, weren't you?" James asked, still angry. Jack nodded his head. "You were going to leave without telling her and when she found that out, she didn't care about you hurting her. Al she cared about was making sure that you were okay." James waited for Jack to say something but he did not. That made James even angrier.

"Damn her feelings, she cares about you more than she cares about herself, Jack!" James screamed. Jack popped his head up and got in James' face.

"You think I don't know this. Why in the hell do you think I am leaving? She doesn't need to worry about me now!" Jack knew he might have said too much when James' face softened.

"Why would you think that?" he asked crossing his arms. "What could possibly make you think that she doesn't need to care about you?" Jack exhaled and shut his eyes tightly.

"I'm not ready, James. I'm just not ready." he turned on his heel and walked away leaving James with more unanswered questions than he had before he talked to Emilie. The only thing he knew was that Jack was not ready for something and James had the distinct feeling it was not about Jack not wanting to tell him what was going on. Something big had happened and it somehow shook Jack to his very core.

Hours later when the band was on the road, Jack sat in the back of the one of the vans and pulled a tiny piece of paper out of his pocket. His eyes read each word carefully and each word brought on the same image.

_I'd walk right back through the rain  
Back to every broken heart  
On the day that it was breakin'  
And I'd relive all the years  
And be thankful for the tears  
I've cried with every stumbled step  
That led to you and got me here, right here_

It's amazing what I let my heart go through  
To get me where it got me  
In this moment here with you

_God knows how many times  
I was so caught up in holding  
What I never thought I'd find  
I know now, there's a million roads  
I had to take  
To get me in your arms that way  
And I wouldn't change a thing_

"But I'd let it slip through my fingers." he mumbled and stuffed the paper back into his pocket. Jack knew he had made a big mistake and even though he knew he could walk right back into Emilie's arms, he had made his bed and he was going to lie in it.

His eyes closed and the image popped into his mind again. He watched her sleep peacefully and held onto the image for dear life. He might have left her but he would not forget her.

* * *

**One thing I want to clear up and a few things I want to mention.**

**1.) The baby that's in the Pro does NOT have a gender yet! Kris pointed out to me that I messed up on a spot where I called it a He. I do not know what gender the baby will be...lol. So if I confused someone in thinkign it was either boy or girl, My bad!**

**2.) Also on the note of the gender...when the time comes around (which will be a while away) I'm going to set up a poll outsite of this site so EVERYONE who reads the story can vote on whether they want it to bea boy or girl. You won't know the results until the baby is born but I wanna see what you all will vote.**

**3.) I've also decided to make polls for a boy name, a girl name and a unisex name. I'm feeling very open to what you peeps think so I'm trying to let you all have a say in the gender and name.**

**Again, these will be a while away. I'm gathering names already but I won't make the polls for a while.**

**I'm done talking now....lol. Read on! AND REVIEW!**


	8. Chapter 7 : Dear, Dear Diary

_April 8th 2008_

_Diary Entry #1_

_10:13pm_

_I'm not sure where I should begin. I haven't written in a diary since before I met Jack and the Mercers. I think Abigail bought me on when I started High School. She said it would be therapeutic for me to write it in at least once a week. She said it was a way for me to express the feelings and frustrations that I had without coming to her if I didn't want to. I thought it was a pretty good idea that day because I had the worst day of my life and I didn't want to talk to her about it. She thought I was having a great start to the school year but I didn't have the guts to tell her that the boys at the school were crude and the girls were whores that tried to offer me a senior in the girls bathroom stall. I filled two pages from that day alone. _

_I kept writing in it after that too. Sometimes it was twice a day and other times it was only a sentence per week but it helped me. I got the chance to express the things that I didn't want to tell Abigail. I was probably the only girl in my school that did not have any pent up anger, sadness or any other emotions. _

_My diary was my second mother, my first and foremost best friend and another part of myself. It held my emotions, my secrets and my fantasies. It held the things that I didn't want to say aloud. And that is why I went through my old boxes of stuff from Abigail's house. I found my unused diary that Abigail got me a few nights before she died. I wanted to use it after she passed but never got around to it after I met Jack. After I met him, he was the one I confided in. He was the one that knew all my feelings, secrets and fantasies. _

_Jack was my diary. _

_But, sadly, he is not here right now and will not be for at least the next 3 weeks. _

_I feel that I need someone or something to confide in so I am starting this diary. I want a way to get my emotions out without running to Bobby, Paisley or anyone else. I want these things to be said to Jack but, again, he's not here. Therefore, until Jack comes back to me, I will write them here. I will keep tabs on the pregnancy and have them for my own memories and for Jack to read when he comes back._

_I think that's it for now. I'm pretty tired and I want to fall asleep before Bobby does. He might be in the living room but his snores carry far, far away._

_Goodnight,_

_Emilie – xoxoxoxo_

_10:23pm_

_April 9th 2008_

_Diary Entry #2_

_11:02 pm_

_Good evening, my temporary diary._

_Unfortunately, I did not fall asleep before Bobby last night. I could not sleep at all actually. I'm not sure why but I think it might have been because I was crying my eyes out and trying my hardest not to wake Bobby up. That didn't work though. He heard me and came to my wet rescue. He held me for half an hour before my tears decided to leave me alone. When they did, Bobby stayed. He threw a blanket and pillow on the ground and fell asleep next to the bed. I wanted to yell at him for being an idiot and tell him to go sleep on the couch because it was more comfortable but I didn't. _

_I needed him there last night. He wasn't Jack but he was comfort. He was someone there with me, and that made me feel a little less lonely because I was really lonely. Jack was going to be gone for 3 weeks, maybe more. The first full 24 hours hadn't even passed and I am already a wreck. Nevertheless, I cannot show that. If I showed the tiniest bit of loneliness, Bobby would have my stuff packed up and moved over to his house in a matter of minutes. I didn't want that. I want him and Jack to know that I can be without him and be happy too. I wanted to show them that I would be okay if he did decide to leave for good..._

_Good news, before I start crying again. I got a call from James at about 8 pm. They were about to go on stage to perform. They were only about 25 minutes away but it felt like he was calling from across the country. He told me that Jack was doing fine but was keeping to himself more than usual. I didn't think that was bad considering the fact that the old Jack would be walking around hitting things or getting trashed. Keeping to himself but seeming fine on the outside was a good sign..._

_I think. I would like to think that it's a good thing. I do not want him unhappy. However, at the same time, I want him to feel alone without me. I want him to feel what I feel. _

_I know that won't happen though. He left me. I am supposed to cry and sob while he goes off and plays music with his band. It's happened before._

_Bye,_

_Em_

_11:20 pm_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_Diary Entry #2.1_

_11:45 pm_

_So now, I know that loneliness isn't the only thing that is eating me alive. Anger has made its way under my skin. I know it is supposed to be normal for me to be angry with him but anger is not the usual emotion I feel for Jack. I haven't been truly angry with him in so long. It scares me to feel this way towards him. The last time I got this angry with him I yelled at him, he left for LA and I didn't see him for months. _

_Now he is gone again. This time he left without me wanting him to go and it's so much worse this time. I keep trying to tell myself that he's just on the road and that eh will come back but I cannot seem to ignore the facts._

_He left me. He left without saying goodbye._

_My whole head is a jumble. My emotions are a mess. I am mad at him. I am sympathetic towards him. I am scared for him and for me. I am lonely. I am calm. I am a determined to fix us even though I feel that we cannot be fixed._

_I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. All I know is that I am severely confused and I want Jack back. I want him to come home and help me build our family. I want to forget these past few days ever happened. Now I want to call Bobby and tell him to come back over. I'm regretting forcing him to go home earlier. I feel even lonelier now._

_I wish this were a magical Genie book instead of a diary._

_Bye again,_

_Em – xoxo_

_11:59 pm_

_April 10th 2008_

_Diary Entry #3_

_12:05 pm_

_Afternoon!_

_Wow, my first daytime entry. I am liking the feeling of writing during the day. I don't feel as alone when the suns out. Plus, this is the first page that is not stained with tiny tear drops. I'm blaming my funky emotions on the baby and hoping they go away soon. The next time I burst into tears over a good cup of coffee, I will try to commit myself to a Looney bin._

_Another reason to check myself into to hang with the other Toons, my phone. It hasn't stopped ringing all day and that is saying a lot because it's only noon and I only woke up an hour ago. _

_Apparently, people have just realized how quick of an exit Jack and the band made. They wanted to know if everything was okay between Jack and me. They wanted to make sure that we were still together and going strong. They wanted to know the truth._

_So I told them._

_I told them that Jack missed the road deeply and he wanted to go travel for a bit. I reminded them that Jack wrote easier when he was traveling and that he wanted some new music. I told them that the trips were his type of therapy._

_And that was not a complete lie. I just left out the part where I told him I was pregnant. The part where he flipped out and the part where he took of without telling me. But the less they knew the better._

_For now._

_I am off to work now though. I played hooky yesterday and kind of regret it. Usually, when I played hooky, Jack and I went off somewhere but not yesterday. I sat at home all day. Alone. Crying until Bobby called. Then I put on a fake cheerful voice and told him I was doing okay._

_Today is different though. My emotions seem to be in check and I feel better than yesterday. _

_Chaio,_

_Em – xoxoxoxox_

_12:17 pm_

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_Diary Entry #3.1_

_10:36 pm_

_I won't write too long. I have never been this tired in my life. I worked until 8 pm but I've done longer shifts and had more energy than I do right now. I didn't do much either. Kaylie was a no show and no new kids showed up today so I was on desk duty filling out papers and making check up calls to some teens that hadn't come by in the past week or so._

_Anyways, to cut this short, I got home and James called half an hour later while I was watching re-runs of The Nanny on Nick at Nite. He gave me my daily update on Jack and I wanted to cry after we hung up. Apparently, Jack was a lot better than he had been. I know I said that I wanted him to be okay but part of me still wants him to be a miserable fool. _

_It looks like I won't get my wish though._

_Night,_

_Em – no hugs and kisses tonight. _

_10:42 pm_

**April 11th 2008**

Emilie woke up to what she thought was a banging in her head. She thought for a moment that she got trashed last night and did not remember it but then she remembered she was pregnant and would not do such a thing. Therefore, she forced her heavy eyelids open and peered into the bright mess that was her bedroom in the morning sun.

The banging was now joined by a very annoyed voice and it was coming from her front door. She drug herself out of bed and stumbled out of her room, through the hall and to her foyer.

"What?" she snapped as she threw her door open. Bobby Mercer stood there frowning at her. "Can I help you?" she asked but turned away from him before he could answer her.

Bobby followed into the apartment and shut the door behind him. He had been knocking on her door for almost ten minutes. Another five and he was breaking it down to see what the hell was going on.

"I've been out there for a while, Em." he watched her flop down on the couch and curl into a fetal position. He didn't want to be rude but she looked like crap. Her hair was a mess but he knew her locks were wild in the mornings. It was the dark circles under her usually pretty eyes that made her look so bad.

"So I wasn't really dreaming about a marching band sitting outside my door." her voice was groggy and partially muffled by the throw pillow under her chin. "Pity, the band's beat was jollier than your knocking."

Bobby cocked his head to the side and stared at her. Emilie was quite snappy this morning. A smile took over his scruffy face and he sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

"Well, it seems like your bitchy hormones have surface, Diddle. Never thought I would see the day when you were naturally rude. It usually takes a lot to get you to this point. Now all I gotta do is interrupt a naughty marching band dream." Emilie lifted her head up and glared at him. "Were you getting to the part where you admit what you did that summer at band camp?" Bobby laughed at his own joke but Emilie kept glaring at him. After a minute of laughing, Bobby realized she was really annoyed and stopped.

He cleared his throat and patted her foot. "So, we need to have a heart to heart." Emilie smirked at him and propped herself up by her elbow.

"A heart to heart? I thought they called that hard, black mass in your chest a piece of coal." This time she laughed and Bobby glared. He sat back against the couch and crossed his arms.

"That black mass is actually a hockey puck but enough about my hard masses." he smirked at her. Emilie rolled her eyes and sat up so they could talk. She got a little worried when Bobby took a deep breath but that feeling vanished. Nothing could be worse than having your boyfriend leave you after you tell him that you are pregnant. Well, at least she hoped nothing could get worse than that. "You gotta tell people about the baby."

Emilie's eyes shot wide open. "Wow, just jump into the deep end, why don't ya?" she drawled and wiped a hand over her face. Bobby scooted closer to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I know you just found out for yourself. I know Jack didn't take it well and I know you went out of your comfort zone when you told me. I do understand this is a lot all at once but you cannot forget your family and friends. You can't forget Jack's family and friends," he told her softly. "Jack might not have taken it well but that does not mean everyone else will react the same way." Emilie shook her head and looked at him.

"I didn't think that. I don't think that." she assured him. "I just," she sighed and squeezed her eyes shut. "I don't know." Bobby grabbed her arms and turned her so that she was facing him.

"You need to celebrate this, Emilie." his voice was hard but not angry. "I know you are hurting somewhere inside and it's time you kick that out. You're pregnant and, contrary to what you might think, there are a lot of people who are going to be over the moon about this." Emilie gave him a droll stare.

"And what do I say when they ask why Jack took off right after I told him about the baby?" she asked raising a brow. "They already think something funny is going on with his hasty departure."

Bobby thought about for a moment. He honestly didn't think about that part. "Leave that part up to me, Diddle. I'll figure it out." he assured her. Emilie wasn't so assured though. "But you still have to tell them."

Emilie sighed and lay back on the couch, setting her feet in Bobby's lap. "But I haven't even gone to the doctor yet." she reminded him. "Can't I wait until after my appointment to tell them? At least then, I will have more info. I'll know my due date and..." she trailed off and Bobby saw a hint of a smile on her face.

"You'll have a due date and most likely a picture." he finished for her. He knew that she wanted to be excited about this but didn't want pull herself out of the jumble of emotions that she was tangled up in. "Listen, Em. I know you are feeling a lot right now. You're mad, upset, guilty and everything else under the moon but if you take the time to enjoy this pregnancy, to let it make you happy," he rubbed her ankle and smiled at her. "That's one emotion you would feel."

Emilie tried to hide the smile on her lips and shook her had. "Nuh uh. I would feel scared too. Nervous." Bobby chuckled and reached for her hand. He pulled her up and back into a hug.

"Those are natural feelings, Em," he told her.

"So are the ones I have about Jack." she whispered into his shirt. Bobby sighed and rubbed her back.

"Yeah but you shouldn't be worrying about Jack right now." he told her. "You should be worrying about taking care of yourself and that baby inside you. You know as well as I do that stressing yourself out like you're doing isn't good for the baby."

Emilie stared at him for a moment. Bobby was right. She should not be worrying about Jack right now; she should worry about the baby and taking care of herself. She knew this from the beginning but being there for Jack and taking care of Jack was always first on her list. It was the same for Jack. His first priority was to take care of Emilie and make sure she was okay. Even when he was hurting, he would make sure she was okay before he thought of himself.

Then a thought occurred to her.

"Do you think that's why he left?" Emilie asked. Bobby looked over at her and frowned at her seemingly random question.

"What do you mean?" he furrowed his brows. "I don't know why he left, Em, but it's not for the sake of the baby. He's the reason you are stressed." Emilie shook her head and waved her hand at him.

"No, I mean Jack's always put me first, just like I put him first." she said. "What if he's still putting me first, Bobby? Do you think he left because he thought I'd put him first instead of the baby?" Bobby kept frowning and shook his head.

"Em, he left because he's scared. We've talked about this," he said honestly. She nodded her head in agreement.

"I know we have and that's why I'm really making sense here. I've thought about it more." she smiled a little and grabbed his hand. "He knows that I know that he's not okay about this. That right there would keep him at the number one spot on my list, Bobby. What if he left so I could focus on the baby instead of trying to deal with him and try to figure out what he's so freaked about?"

Bobby stared at her with a disbelieving smile. "I cannot believe you. He is putting you through hell and you still try to justify his reasons for leaving. Why? Why would you try to do that?" Emilie smiled back at him.

"Because I love him, Bobby, and I know him. Inside and out, I know him." Her words were strong and confident. "Something isn't right with him. He is scared but he doesn't want me to know about it. I have always known that he wasn't big on families but I never knew why. I knew he wasn't going to take this well and I should have worked on him about it when it first came up."

"Don't blame yourself, Em." Bobby warned. "You couldn't have known that this would sneak up on you. It's not like you tried to get knocked up."

"I know but I let it slide when I shouldn't have." she looked at him and bit her lip. "I know you think I'm going off on a limb here but I know what I feel. I know Jack. I have to fix this. I have to fix him and whatever made him not like the idea of a family."

Bobby thought about what she said. He let her words sink in and he replayed the years that his little brother and Emilie were together. He remembered how protective and open they were with one another. He remember them finishing each other's sentences and sharing a bond that was ridiculously strong. If anyone knew how Emilie thought, worked and ticked, it was Jack. The only person beside Bobby himself that knew Jack the best was Emilie. She knew things that Bobby and the Mercer family didn't know about the baby of the family.

For a split second, Bobby believed that she might right be onto something.

"You honestly think that he left so you could focus on you?" he asked her. She nodded. "I think he left because he was scared." Emilie smirked and nodded again.

"They go hand in hand for Jack," she said. Bobby decided that he was not going to shake her from whatever idea she had of the situation.

"So what are you going to do? How are you going to fix it?"

After Emilie made Bobby leave for the night, she sat on her couch and stared at the phone. Bobby ended up convincing her to tell everyone about the pregnancy and even though she was nervous to do so, she knew he was right. Both her and Jack had friends and family that would be excited about this. The only people who would know the truth of the whole situation would be Bobby and James. Emilie knew that James would put the pieces together after he found out about the baby. He wasn't stupid and would know the real reason behind Jack's decision to go on the road.

She grabbed the phone and dialed James' cell phone number. She had been dreading calling him because she knew the message she was going to make him give to Jack wouldn't be good news. She had to warn Jack that she was telling everyone about the baby. He had to be prepared for the calls he would get congratulating him on his soon to be fatherhood. She also had to make sure James made sure that Jack put on a cheerful smile when he thanked everyone for his or her well wishes.

"Hey, Em. I was just about to call you." James sounded out of breath as he picked up the call. Emilie chuckled and sat back on the couch.

"Good timing on my part then. Have a good show?" she asked and twirled the phone cord around her finger.

"Yeah, we rocked out like we always do." he laughed. Emilie heard a door shut and knew that he was going somewhere private. She guessed that Jack still didn't know about their phone calls. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of you calling me instead of me calling you?"

Emilie rolled her eyes and sighed deeply. "Oh no." he mumbled. "What's up?" he asked.

"I need you to give Jack a message for me," she told him calmly. "I need you to tell him that I'm throwing a tiny party tomorrow at Bobby's house and I'm planning on telling everyone." She could picture James' confused face through the phone.

"Tell them what?" he asked hesitantly, as if he knew that she wouldn't tell him but he wanted to give it a shot anyways.

"I can't tell you but he'll know what you mean when you tell him it was from me." Emilie closed her eyes when she heard James let out a growl.

"Just tell me what it is. Tell me what's going on with you two, please." he pleased but Emilie stood her ground.

"I told you this the other day. If Jack hasn't told you yet, I won't cross that line," she said. "If he wants to tell you, he'll tell you. But I won't break his confidence by going behind his back and telling you things that he should be telling you."

"Alright, I get it." James receded. "But if he doesn't tell me after you tell everyone, I'm calling Pais or Angel to find out what's going on."

"If he still hasn't told you what it is by the time his phone blows up, you can call me and then I'll tell you. How about that?" she offered. She knew Jack's phone would blow up tomorrow night. If he still didn't tell his friends, then Emilie would. It would not be crossing the line by telling them something everyone else knows.

"I'll hold you to that, Em." James stressed. "If he doesn't tell me tomorrow night, I'm calling you up no matter what time it is."

_April 11th 2008_

_Diary Entry #4_

_10:02 pm_

_Let's see if I can say this right._

_I feel it in my heart that I can help fix Jack. That I can fix whatever made him feel the way he does about being a father and having a family. I know deep inside that someone hurt him and made him feel this way. I know that it has to do with his past. I just know this. _

_However, even with all that knowledge, Bobby's words echoed true in my head._

"_So what are you going to do? How are you going to fix it?"_

_My original plan was to look into his past but Bobby was right again when he said that Jack would not want me getting involved in his past. Jack had a dark past and he did not want that to touch me in anyway. But I am getting desperate here. I need Jack back and if that means going behind his back, then that is what I will do._

_I just hope that it all works out in the end because I know this will only cause him, and me, more hurt._

_Night,_

_Em._

_10:08 pm_

_Lying in my bed,  
Tears falling down my face,  
Praying to God,  
That our love don't fade away,  
'Cause it's okay, 'Cause we can work it out,  
'Cause with you I can't live without.  
These words I need to say,  
'Cause to you I dedicate._

_Oh, you're the one that I adore,  
And no matter what we go through,  
I'll love you forever and more.  
So, you say that you never miss a good friend 'till they're gone.  
Well if you love me like you say you do,  
You'll show me the way back to your heart, and that's right._

-Dedicate by Amanda Perez


	9. Chapter 8: The Party

**April 12th 2008**

The table was packed. It was covered with punch, chips, dip, cookies, crackers, tiny triangle ham and cheese sandwiches, a vegetable platter and plastic cups.

"Check." Emilie turned away from the table and looked around the house.

The house was clean. The living room was vacuumed, the coffee tables were clean and tidy, the couches and chairs were straight and it was all dust free. In the kitchen, the counters were wiped down and organized. The kitchen was free of moldy and rotten food. The stove was sparkling. The floor was spotless and gleaming. The trash was taken out and the table wasn't trashed with mail and candy wrappers.

"Bobby how in the world did you let your house get that dirty?" Emilie asked, walking into the kitchen where Bobby sat at the table. He looked up from his plate of cookies and shrugged casually.

"I'm not a housekeeper, Em. You know that." he picked up another cookie and took a bite. "This is a really good cookie, Em." he said, shaking the cookie at her. She grinned at him and reached over to grab it.

"I know. I made it." Bobby barked out a laugh and pushed the plate over to her when she reached for another one. "So when is everyone getting here?" she asked through a mouth full of cookie. A piece dropped on her shirt and she scooped it up, ate it and looked over at Bobby. He was looking at her with the oddest look in his eyes.

"What?" she asked nervously. He shook his head and smiled a little. He looked sad. "What is it Bobby?" She walked over to him and hooked an arm through one of his.

"Ma would be so happy." he whispered, his voice cracking ever so slightly. Tears filled Emilie's eyes instantly. She hugged his arm to her and buried his face in his shoulder.

"God, she would be thrilled, huh?" she laughed a little. "Abigail would be too. They'd already be shopping or knitting by now." He chuckled with her for a second but the air fell silent after that. The two of them stood there, holding one another, letting the thought of their deceased mother's cloud their minds.

Then, Bobby's fist shot out from his free arm and hit the wooden table. Not once, not twice but repeatedly he hit it. Emilie jumped away from him on the first hit and she thought abouts topping him but, honestly, she was too afraid. So she watched him tear his knuckles up and hoped that he wouldn't break anything.

Bobby was angry. He had every right to be angry too. He was angry with Jack for leaving Emilie alone and pregnant. He wan angry with Emilie for taking his departure so calmly. He was angry with life for putting Emilie through such a hard time. He was angry with God, or whoever was sitting up there, for taking his mother away.

Most of all though, he wans angry with himself for being so angry and not being strong for Emilie.

His fist stopped moving and he could feel Emilie move forward. She laid her hand on his shoulder and kissed his bicep. "It'll be okay, Bobby." She assured him in a whisper. He started to shake his head but she squeezed his arm. "I'm okay. I promise."

"You might think this is okay but it's not, Em. It's not right." he growled, feeling the urge to hit something again. "What Jack is doing, isn't right and it will never he right. No matter how much happened to him in his past. None of your excuses for him will make this any less wrong than it already is."

Needing some time alone, he moved out from under her touch and walked out the kitchen.

Emilie watched him go and felt the familiar sting of tears forming behind her eyes. She blinked the away and looked down at the table. It wasn't damaged but she could see faint indents from his knuckles scattering the area he hit. There was also some blood and a little skin. He'd torn his hand open.

"Oh, Bobby." She sighed and walked over to the sink. She grabbed the dish sponge and wiped the table off again. She sat back down after she was done and picked at her nails. There was nothing else to do. Bobby and her had set everything up already and now all there was to do was wait for everyone to get here. No one knew what the impromptu get together was for but Emilie got the feeling that they knew something was going on. She wondered how they would react when she told them about the baby.

The thought made her groan. She dropped her head onto the table. Hard. She winced but didn't bring her head back up.

"I think the table has had enough beatings today." Bobby said as he walked back in. Emilie picked her head up to look at him. He'd changed into a long sleeved shirt. Emilie noticed that the sleeves covered his raw knuckles. "My hand's fine. How about your head?" He brushed her hair out of the way and looked at the tiny red spot on her forehead.

"It's fine." she told him. He dropped his hand and sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry I went off like that. I just got-" he ran his hands through his hair roughly and squeezed his eyes shut. Emilie stood up from the chair and wrapped her fingers around his wrists. Bobby let her pull his hands away from his head and wrap them around her shoulders. It took him a minute to realize what she wanted but by the time her arms circled his waist, he was hugging her back.

Emilie buried her face in his chest and hugged him tightly. She felt his nose and lips nuzzle into her hair and she smiled.

"I just got angry, Em." he whispered, turning his face and resting his cheek on the top of her head. "I was just so angry." She tightened her arms and looked up at him.

"I understand, Bobby." she assured him. "This isn't just a lot for me to deal with. It's a lot for you to deal with too." A frown spread across her face and moved away from him. "I should have thought about that before-"

Bobby cut her off by slapping a hand over her mouth. She looked at him and he was glaring at her. "If you dare say that you are sorry you called me, I will pinch you so hard the bruise will stay for months." He felt her lips curve in his hand and he moved it away.

"Thanks, Bobby." He was about to say something else but a knock on the door stopped him. Emilie blanched and he chuckled.

"It's time." he sang and left to go answer the door. Emilie took a few minutes to compose herself. She heard the voices and knew that everyone was here at once. Just her luck. After a few deep breaths, Emilie walked through the kitchen and out into the living room.

"Diddle!" Angel exclaimed happily. He took a few long strides to her and crushed her to his body in a big hug. "I've missed you! We need to hang out some more." he swung her around a little and Emilie laughed heartily.

She was actually excited to see everyone now. For days she'd been keeping low with Bobby, trying to keep everything a secret. Today would change that though. Everyone would know about the baby and that'd be one less thing off her mind. The problem with them knowing though was Jack. Would they know that Jack left her? What will they say when they realize Jack left with the band? Would they ask if he even knew?

Those questions brought her down a little and she looked over at Bobby. He was talking with Jerry and eating more cookies. She left Angel and on her way over to Bobby, she greeted everyone else.

Sofi. Camille. Paisley. Daniella. Amelia.

"Hey, Jer." Emilie hugged him tightly and pulled back. "Can I borrow Bobby for a sec?"

"Yes, please. He's annoying me already." Jerry joked and walked over to help Amelia fill her cup up with punch. Emilie pulled Bobby to the side and gave him a panicked look.

"What do we do when they ask about Jack? You know they are going to find it odd that he left to tour after I find out I'm pregnant." Her voice was hushed and harsh. Bobby looked around to see if anyone was close.

"Let me handle that. Okay?" he said. "When and if it comes to that, let me handle it."

Half an hour later, the guests were getting antsy.

"So way are we here Bobby?" Camille asked, sitting between the girls on the couch. Bobby looked over at Emilie and nodded.

"Um it's actually for me." she spoke. Everyone turned their attention on her and her stomach twisted. "My place wasn't big enough so I asked Bobby to let me use his house."

"Is everything okay?" Angel asked, automatically thinking the worst even though it was a party. Emilie smiled sweetly and nodded her head.

"Yes, Ang. It's perfect actually." She could see that she caught their attention and she inhaled as deeply as she could. "I have an announcement to make. I um, have been holding this in for a few days and I don't think I can anymore." She gripped her tiny plastic cup as tightly as she could and looked over at Bobby again. "I'm not sure what I should say to lead up to what I'm about to tell you and I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for it so I'm just going to say it."

Everyone's else watched her. Some were filled with fear, some with hesitation. Most were curious.

"I'm pregnant."

A gasp from Camille. Two confused sounds from the girls. A short squeak from Paisley. A growl from Angel. A chuckle from Sofi. Silence from Jerry. He just looked shell shocked.

Emilie stood before them as they processed what she said. Bobby stood off to her right, gnawing on his bottom lip but looking intently at Angel. After a few moments of still silence, Emilie started to tear up.

"Oh God, I knew this was a bad idea." she cried and started to bolt from the room. Camille grabbed her before she could get out though. She forced Emilie to look at her.

"Are you sure?" Camille asked softly. Emilie nodded her head and felt a few tears fall. Slowly, a bright smile filled Camille's face. "Aw, Em!" Arms hugged Emilie's neck gently and Emilie started to cry openly. "I am so happy for you."

Bobby watched as everyone stood up and walked over to Emilie and Camille. Everyone, that is, except Angel. The big Marine sat on the couch, looking down into his cup of punch. He didn't look upset anymore. He looked disappointed. When Bobby started to walk over to him, he realized that Emilie noticed Angels demeanor as well.

"Ang?" She approached him hesitantly. He lifted his head after releasing a shaking sigh.

"Yeah, I'm happy for you too." He put on a fake smile but Emilie didn't buy it. Sofi walked back over and sat down next to him.

"What's wrong, baby?" she cooed and rubbed his shoulder. He shrugged his shoulders and stood up. He was about to leave but Emilie grabbed his arm as he passed her.

"Angel Mercer." she growled, tears still falling. "Tell me what is wrong with you. Don't tell me you're happy for me and not act like it." She tugged him toward her and he shook his head.

"I am happy for you, Diddle." he told her softly. His eyes flitted over to Bobby and his frown increased. Emilie noticed this.

"Then what is it?" she asked him, worry filling her voice. Angel was silent for a minute.

"Bobby knew about this?" he finally asked. Emilie furrowed her brows together and nodded. Angel sighed again and Bobby broke the short silence with a loud laugh. Emilie turned to him and frowned.

"This is not the time, Bobby." she warned and turned back to Angel.

"No, no." Bobby laughed and walked up to Emilie and Angel. "I know what it is." Angel glared at him but Bobby ignored it. "He's jealous." Emilie gave him a dirty look and started to pull Angel away. She stopped when she heard Jerry snickering. Then she thought that Bobby might be right. She looked up at Angel and gave him a questioning look.

"Is it true?" she asked when he didn't respond. He mumbled something under his breath and Bobby laughed harder. "Shut it, Robert!" she snapped, poking a finger in his chest. The room froze and stared at her as Bobby shut up quickly.

"Hormones." Someone whispered.

Emilie looked back at Angel and smiled. "Is is true?" she asked again. He reluctantly nodded his head and Emilie started to giggle. "Aw, Angel. That's sweet." She hugged his neck and Angel couldn't help but smile.

"I was just bummed that you told Bobby before me." he admitted, hugging her back. "I thought I was your number one." he teased as she pulled back. She grinned up at him and patted his cheek.

"You are but you can't keep a secret for shit." Everyone burst out laughing and when they calmed down Paisley asked the question that Emilie was dreading.

"So have you told Jack?" she asked, sitting down on the arm of the couch. Emilie's breath started to quicken and she looked over at Bobby. He cleared his throat and stepped forward.

"Of course, she did." he replied casually. Emilie looked at everyone's faces for any look that said they didn't believe him. Luckily, no one looked that way but a few were confused.

"Then why did he up and leave to go tour?" Camille asked, pulling Amelia into her lap. Emilie looked at Bobby again and prayed he thought fast under pressure.

"He knew that he wouldn't be able to do much touring after the baby was here and he didn't want to leave Emilie alone when she got further along in the pregnancy." He spoke clearly and confidently. For a second, Emilie actually believed his words but she knew better.

"Oh, well that's sweet of him." Camille winked at Emilie and everyone started chatting among themselves. Emilie felt Bobby's hand sneak into hers and she smiled.

"Thank you." she whispered.

* * *

Jack sat in the tiny hotel room and stared at the snowing television. There was a bad storm raging outside and the hotel wasn't getting signal from the cable company. It had gone out over an hour ago but he still hadn't touched it. He didn't want to move. He was afraid of moving If he got up, he was afraid, he'd start hitting things again. The lamp beside his bed was broken. The door to the bathroom has a dent in it. And he smashed the remote when the TV started getting fuzzy.

So there he sat, on the uncomfortable and very lonely bed, waiting. Waiting for James and Troy to come busting through his door. He knew that they would come. James told him they would. They wanted to know and by tonight, at this very hour, everyone else would know. Jack didn't blame them for wanting to know. He was all too aware of how he was acting.

Angry. Upset. Depressed. Joy.

But the joy only lasted while they were on stage. They'd gotten lucky and had a show every night so far but Jack knew that it would get tougher as the weeks and towns went by. It's hard to grab a free night when you walk in that same day. Under different circumstances, Jack would have called and set up every night at least a month before but not this time. Everything was different this time.

A loud knocking sounded to his right and he barely looked over to see the door shaking under one of his friends fist. "Jack, we're coming in!" James yelled. The door knob jiggled and Jack heard the key slide. Beep. Then they were inside and staring him down.

"Talk." Troy demanded, sitting down in the chair across from Jack. James opted to stand and glare. Jack could see a black eye in his future and he damn well deserved it. He drug both of his friends away from home, without warning, because he was scared. He drug them into this and didn't tell them what was going on even though they knew something was up.

"Has Emilie called?" Jack asked, looking up at James. Jack knew the calls James and Emilie shared. Jack listened in on a couple just to hear her voice. Other time,s he stayed away from James completely. It killed him to know that Emilie was still trying to check up on him after all that he had done to her.

_She's too good for you,_ Jack's inner voice told him sadly.

"Not yet. I told her I'd call her tonight." James replied cooly. "She knows that I want to know and she said she'd tell me if you didn't." Jack nodded and ran his hands through his hair.

"I'm no sure how to say it." he mumbled. Troy looked sympathetic but James didn't.

"How about spit it out?" James suggested sarcastically. Troy hit him in the shin and looked at Jack.

"We know it's nothing good so don't try to prepare us. Just say it." He basically repeated James' words but he said them nicely. Jack took a deep breath and looked between the both of them.

"The night before we left..." he sighed and chuckled humorlessly. "Emilie's pregnant. She told me the day before we left."

There was silence thinker than any of the three men had ever experienced in their lives. Then, Jack saw it. It was coming from his right side but he didn't move. He knew it would hurt like hell but he didn't dare move. He didn't dare deprive his long time friend of this.

James' fist swung out and connected with Jack's jaw, causing a sickening, crunching sound when it hit home.


End file.
